


Inescapable Domesticity

by Kahluah



Series: Inescapable [2]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Biting, Blood and Gore, Blow Jobs, Cannibalism, Captured Kaneki AU, Cock Rings, Coffee date, Come Eating, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Experimentation, Fever, Hand Jobs, Handcuffs, Huge Dorks, Hurt/Comfort, Kagune Usage, Love Confessions, M/M, Masturbation, Memory Loss, Mild Gore, Morning Sex, Nightmares, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Past Torture, Pillow Fights, Rating May Change, Shower Sex, Sick Character, These two boys need to be happy, Vomiting, because man i just love that kink so much, but it will change later in the story, i think thats it for this chapter really, let the fluffy stuff (and porn) commence!, movie times and snugglefests, ok rating will definatly change, putting that tag just because you know ghouls, reciprocated feelings, sentimental sex, seriously, sleeping, so just M for now, technically, this was just an idea ive had for a while
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-03-13 17:11:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 39,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3389675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kahluah/pseuds/Kahluah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A week after Hide went to visit Kaneki in Cochlea they are now living together in a small apartment the CCG set them up with. Things are awkward between these two friends at first, but perhaps soon it will be just like old times. Maybe even better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this would technically be the start of the actual series, lets just hope I can keep up with it!
> 
> UnBETAd

It was nice and warm. He wanted to stay here forever, in the comfortable place between sleep and waking up, but his mind was winning the battle, slowly pulling him towards consciousness. He didn’t want to wake up though. He wanted to stay here in bed, curled up against the other in his arms. He nuzzled his head against the back of their neck. They smelled good. Like sunflowers, sunshine, and home… like Hide? Memories suddenly flooded into his mind, playing against his closed eyelids like a movie.

Hide had come to visit, the CCG told him something was wrong with him and his friend had come over to check on him. He had been worried about Kaneki, and… and he had attacked him… sexually. How could he have done that, how could he have forced himself upon Hide like that?! He doesn’t particularly remember Hide fighting back, but maybe he just couldn’t tell due to the difference in their strength.

Kaneki didn’t think he had been moving around much, but suddenly Hide shifted. Kaneki loosed his arms around the other so they could reposition themselves. When the other finished moving he was facing Kaneki. “So you’re finally awake?” He must have had an expression of regret on his face, like he felt bad for waking Hide up because the other laughed lightly. “Don’t worry about it man, I woke up a few minutes ago myself; you weren’t holding me against my will or anything.” He knew Hide was lying, he always did stuff like this for him and brushed it off as no big deal in the end.

Speaking of ‘here’, where was here? When he had… attacked… Hide they had been in his cell, but this was definitely not Cochlea. They seemed to be in a small bedroom. Hide got off the bed and walked over to a dresser, going through its contents. He picked out two sets of clothes, normal clothes, one set for him and the other for Kaneki.

“Hide… Where are…” His sentence trailed off, cut short by Hide speaking over him.

“Don’t worry about that now Kaneki, I’ll explain everything at breakfast.” The blond had started getting dressed, but Kaneki just sat there on the bed. “You’re probably starving, you haven’t eaten in a week after all.”

A week?! It had been a week? He swore Hide had just come over yesterday. Kaneki sat there stunned while the other continued babbling on without a care in the world, his voice slightly muffled by the shirt he was trying to pull over his head.

“Well, I suppose you had a bit to eat, but nothing that could really give you any energy.”

Kaneki’s head shot up at that. Had he actually attacked Hide for really during the week he couldn’t remember?

The blond finished pulling his shirt over his head and saw the look of concern and anguish on his friend’s face.

“No, it’s not like that Kaneki! You didn’t attack me or anything, I mean they are more like love bites than anything… else…” The end of his sentence trailed off, leaving the two with an awkward silence.

 _Love bites._ Did he really have to call them love bites?

The two stayed like that for a few minutes, neither of them able to break the silence.

Finally Hide spoke up. “Hey, I’ll go get some coffee started, you should probably go take a shower. It’s not that I don’t like the way you smell or anything, but you stink.” He made an over exaggerated face at Kaneki, sticking out his tongue and everything in attempts to lighten the mood.

Kaneki couldn’t help but to smile, it might not have been much but Hide was always trying to find ways to cheer him up; even now.

“Fine, fine. But your coffee better not taste like crap.” He got up off the bed, picked up his clothes and headed for the door.

Hide faked a gasp, as if he were taken aback. “Kaneki how could you?! My coffee making skills are amazing! I could probably open a coffee restaurant and it would be the best in the world!” He walked past Kaneki, heading for the kitchen. “The bathroom is the second door on the left by the way.”

Kaneki walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him and setting his change of clothes on the counter. He turned on the hot water and stepped under the shower, not even waiting for the water to heat up.

How. How could this have happened? How could he have done this to Hide?

He closed his eyes and though back, trying to make sense of his mess of memories. Hide had visited, and he had pounced on him. He remembers feeling hot, uncomfortable, and desperate. He and Hide… He and Hide had… He didn’t want to think about that. But what had happened after that? After he and Hide had, well… finished. He remembers being tired, but after he woke up? He thought hard, trying to remember, but it was no use. Everything after that was hazy and he couldn’t make any sense of the small snippets he was able to dredge up.

But then one memory floated to the forefront of his mind.

“ _Hide… I love you Hide._ ”

Kaneki’s eyes snapped open.

No… No, no, no, no. He did not say that to Hide. He wanted to believe this was some sort of mistake, but that day, right before falling asleep, the last thing he clearly remembered was…

He hid his face in his hands. He did not confess to Hide.

Hide had always been energetic and cheerful, ever since they were kids. He was like the sun to Kaneki who liked to sit quietly by himself and read. But somehow that sunshine had worked its way into his life and now he couldn’t imagine living without it. He has had a crush on Hide for most of his life, but he would never tell him about it! If Hide had rebuffed his affection and rejected him Kaneki didn’t know how he would ever be able to face the other again, so he swore he would never tell Hide. But, but now…

His face was completely red, both from embarrassment and from the hot water that was burning his skin.

A knock on the door made Kaneki jump, and he almost ended up slipping on the slippery floor of the shower.

“Coffee is ready, so you better hurry up. You don’t want it to get cold because in case you didn’t know, microwaved coffee tastes disgusting.”

How could he ever be able to face Hide now? Kaneki reached for the shampoo, and began working it through his hair. Perhaps Hide would just brush it off; a phrase induced by whatever it was Kaneki had went through.

A few minutes later Kaneki exited the bathroom. The smell of coffee was the first thing to hit his nose, causing his stomach to grumble. He followed the smell out to the main area of the house. Hide was behind a counter, busily working away in what was probably the kitchen.

Sensing Kaneki’s presence the blond, setting a cup of coffee on the counter. “See, I knew you would be hungry.’ Realizing what Hide meant Kaneki quickly lifted up a hand to cover his left eye. He hadn’t even realized his kakugan had activated. Hide rolled his eyes at him and gave an exasperated sigh. “Oh my god, Kaneki. I obviously know what you are and I’m obviously alright with it or I wouldn’t be here right now. You don’t need to go trying to hide things from me anymore.”

Kaneki hesitantly lowered his hand as the blond began riffling through the refrigerator. “So, how hungry are you? Or like, how much do you want to eat?” He pulled out a few brown packages, comparing them to each other. “You’ll probably be put back on regular rations after this, but you should be able to eat all that you want right now though since you need to get your energy back.”

Kaneki walked over to him and took two of the packages from his hands, setting them on the counter beside the coffee.

“If you need anymore don’t hesitate to ask, there are three more left in the fridge.”

Kaneki took a seat at the counter while Hide continued to bustle about the small kitchen still cooking his own food. Even through the brown packaging he was able to pick up on the delicious fragrance of the meat within. At that moment he felt so hungry, and it smelled so good that his mouth began to water with anticipation. But he knew that as soon as he got a taste of his food he wouldn’t be able to hold back, and he didn’t want Hide to see him like that; greedily tearing through meat, devouring it all as fast as he could.

Hide glanced back at Kaneki before turning back to the task at hand. “It will take a bit longer for my food to finish cooking, so why don’t you start eating yours first?” That way he could eat while Hide was still concentrating on not burning his bacon.

Kaneki unwrapped the first piece, taking a large bite of the meat. It tasted heavenly and before he knew it he was tearing into the second package.

Eating those took the edge off of his hunger, but he would probably have to eat the other three later today if he wanted to be fully satisfied.

Soon Hide was done preparing his own breakfast and he took a seat next to him at the counter. Kaneki took a sip of his coffee, it didn’t taste bad, but he would probably ask Hide later if they could get some supplies for him to make his own. There was nothing wrong with coffee from coffee makers, but his time as a barista at Anteiku had made him rather particular about his coffee so he usually preferred to brew his own.

“So, once again. Where are we exactly?”

“Well,” Hide took a big bite of toast. “We’re in an apartment…”

Kaneki raised an eyebrow at him, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Really? I couldn’t tell. I thought we were still in Cochlea.”

He swallowed, taking a sip of his own coffee. “I was saying, that we’re in an apartment rented out by the CCG.”

“Why would the CCG be paying for an apartment?” His eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“Well because of what happened last week... they um, they gave me an offer, to stay with you basically to see what would happen. They said the only time you really become sociable is when I’m around, so they figured this was the best way to get you to open up. They were very obvious that they have ulterior motives for this, I mean they even told me it was for research.”

“Then why did you accept?” His voice was harsh. “They may have locked me up, but at least they weren’t doing anything to me. “

“Because of the way the said it. If it wasn’t me it was going to be something else. I think they were out of patience with your silent treatment.” Kaneki just gazed into his coffee cup. “Plus you needed somebody to help you through the past week, and once again I figured you would prefer somebody you knew over whatever they would have brought for you...”

“Hide… about last week.” All he could thing about was that one phrase.

“Don’t worry about it Kaneki. You were in heat, you probably weren’t aware of your actions.”

He turned towards Hide, a look of confusion on his face. “I was in heat? Like what some female animals go through?”

“Or female ghouls.” He cut in. “Look, just forget about it. Let’s just make today like a fresh start. After I finish eating I’ll move my clothes and stuff into the other room and we can go from there.”

After that the two of them finished their meals in silence. Being able to stay with Hide was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time, but for the first time he could remember the two didn’t have anything to really talk about.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be 2 chapters, but in the end I decided to keep the second one short and pin it on the end here.

The next day was better. He woke up to the sound of the front door closing and the smell of coffee.

He walked out to the kitchen, finding a note on the counter next to a fresh cup of coffee.

              

_Kaneki! I had to go out to pick up some stuff. I know you get lonely without_

_me, but I’ll be back in a few hours. You better be awake by the time I get_

_back though. You sleep so long that we should probably change you name to_

_Catneki or something like that._

_P.S. If you need anything just ask one of the guys next door._

He put the note down, shaking his head. Even in written form Hide was Hide. He picked up the coffee and headed for the couch, wondering how he would bide his time until the other returned. He could tell this was a last minute idea by the CCG by the lack of things throughout the apartment; it didn’t even have a television, only the bare necessities like beds and couches.

But it was the lack of items that made him notice it.

On the side table was a book. Kaneki set the coffee down, picking up the book. It was one of his favorites. The book was not there yesterday, had Hide gone out sometimes between then and now to get it for him? He really shouldn’t have. Hide was always doing things like this for him and he always reused when Kaneki offered to do things in return. He also felt bad that Hide did this for him even despite how he had acted towards him. For a while now he had been nothing but aloof and cold towards Hide, but he still took the time to do something like this. Hide was his best friend, and he never should have treated him that way.

He took a seat on the couch, opened the front cover of the book and began to read.

 

When Hide finally returned Kaneki was halfway done with the book. He was accompanied by another as they tried to move a large box through the door. It didn’t seem all that heavy, but it was big enough that they were having a hard time maneuvering it through the small doorway. Kaneki marked his place in the book and set it back down on the table. “Do you guys need any help with that?”

Hide looked over his shoulder towards the sound of the voice. “Kaneki, you’re finally up!” He had that signature smile on his face. “It was like almost noon when I left. It’s ok though, I think we can manage carrying this the rest of the way. The house was missing a few necessities like a TV, so I had them take me shopping so I could buy the stuff we didn’t have.” It took them a few minutes, but finally hey got the box into the living room. “Alright, now that this is finally up here time to go get the rest of the stuff.”

Kaneki moved to stand up “Let me help so that–“

The guard that was silent until then finally spoke up. “That won’t be necessary. You are to stay in here until we are finished.” His voice was stern and commanding.

Hide scratched the back of his head. “Sorry Kaneki… Don’t worry though we can handle it just fine. I will need your super ghoul strength later though for setting up the TV, for now though just relax while we finish bringing everything up.”

Hide and the guards went back and forth for a while longer, bringing up all of the new items he had forced them to buy at the store today, including a gaming system for himself and some fancy coffee making stuff for Kaneki. Finally Hide came in with the last bag, closing the door behind him.

“Well now that that is all brought up why don’t we get that TV on the wall. The cable guy might not be coming until tomorrow but tonight…” Hide started to rummage through the bag he had just brought up, pulling out a few slim cases and smiling at Kaneki. “We can have a movie marathon! After I eat dinner of course, popcorn alone is not a good dinner.” He held within his hands films that ranged from B-list horror to action to romcoms. He and Hide used to do this all the time, whenever Kaneki didn’t want to go home to his aunt’s Hide would let him stay the night and they would end up watching movies until morning.

It took most of the afternoon and into the early evening to get everything set up. After Hide had eaten his dinner he made some popcorn and joined Kaneki on the couch. It was his pick first which meant they were watching the worst horror movie he was able to find. Hide had always enjoyed the cliché plots, horrible acting, and overuse of fake blood. This one was one of those typical storylines where a group of teenagers hard dared each other to spend the night in a haunted house. It didn’t take long for the antagonist of the movie to appear and for the fake blood to start to fly.

Kaneki wasn’t really paying attention to the movie. These had always been more of Hide’s thing, but he would still sit and watch them with his best friend while he occupied himself with his own thoughts. He did enjoy how much Hide seemed to like these movies though, sniggering at the foolishness of the characters and how the actors delivered their lines. So sitting here now with him was nice, it felt comforting; just like old times.

It wasn’t until the climax of the movie, when the main characters were being hunted down that he started to pay attention. The lead’s best friend had just been caught and since her role in the film was an important one her murder scene had much time and effort put into it. Instead of straight up killing her like all of the others, the killer decided to put on a show. The killer cut her up all over, making that much too red blood flow out from all over her body. Kaneki found it hard to tear his gaze from the screen. Next he began to slowly cut into her, exposing the beautifully pink flesh and white bone that lay beneath her skin. It all looked _so tender and juicy; a good piece of meat. It was the perfect balance of muscle and fat. It would be so easy to bite into her, teeth slowly sinking down as their warm blood would fill his mouth. Easy to tear away. Easy to–_

“Oh my god, Kaneki are you drooling?” Hide bit back a laugh. He found this rather funny, but he didn’t think the other would find this development as enjoyable as he did.

Kaneki quickly wiped at his mouth, turning away from Hide in a mixture of embarrassment and shame. What was wrong with him?! It not like he was hungry or anything, he had just eaten yesterday. But watching the movie just now he couldn’t help for his mind to wander into unpleasant territory. It had just looked so good. “Sorry…” Finally when something was going right he went and ruined it, he couldn’t even sit through something as normal as movie night anymore without messing up.

Hide put the empty popcorn bowl down on the table and pulled the other into a hug. “Hey now, this is nothing to get upset about. It’s all ok.”

How could Hide be so confident and ok with all of this? Nothing had gone right since they were reunited. Yesterday had been filled with silence and solitude, he didn’t even want to think about that first week, and now this. It might not have been much, but how did the other know that he wouldn’t lose control and do something unforgivable? All he has managed to do is make a mess of his life, so how could Hide be so sure. It was foolish to think that something so simple could go even remotely right because he wasn’t the human Kaneki Ken anymore, he was the ghoul Centipede; a monster. How could Hide stand to even be near him?

Hide continued to comfort Kaneki, rubbing small circles on his back. “Everything’s fine, it’s nothing to cry over.”

Kaneki hadn’t even noticed the warm tears falling down his face until the other pointed them out.

“It’s only natural things like this would happen now, but that’s fine, I’ll still be here for you.” The credits were now rolling on the screen but neither of them paid any mind that they had missed the last of the movie. “No matter what happens I’ll always be there. So why don’t we put on one of your movies, lay here together and relax just like we always used to. I got one of your favorite movies, why don’t we watch that one?” Kaneki nodded, moving away from the other so that he could go change out the disks.

When Hide came back he sat as far back as he could, allowing Kaneki to lay against his chest. Kaneki never really had anyone to comfort him when they were younger so had taken it upon himself to try and cheer his friend up, which usually led to them watching movies together at his house like this. When he felt the other relax, sinking further into him Hide couldn’t help but smile. Even though so much had changed this hadn’t.

They stayed like that all night, watching movies together on the couch until sunrise. It wasn’t much longer after the first rays of morning came through the windows that Kaneki fell asleep. Hide wanted nothing more than to fall sleep here together with him, but the ways things had gone the past few days that probably was not the best idea. So gently he wriggled out from behind Kaneki, making sure not to disturb him. Then he gently carried the other to his room.

After he got Kaneki all tucked in he headed for his own room. The past two days had been a horrible start to all of this. Hopefully the third times the charm and today would be better for the both of them. He got into bed, laying there and thinking of things they could do that day. He wanted to cheer Kaneki up, really cheer him up and he needed to come up with a plan to pull it off. The only plans for today was the cable guy coming in the morning to install everything, but after that the rest of the day was free. Kaneki only had the one book Hide had actually remembered the title of, so perhaps they could go to a bookstore. It would probably take a few hours to convince whoever was on guard today to let both of them go out, especially if they acted like the one earlier, but he knew this would probably be the best way to cheer the other up. It didn’t even matter if they would be under heavy guard or not, he just wanted to see Kaneki smile again.

  

* * *

  

As soon as Hide was free the next day he made his way next door in hopes of executing his cheer up Kaneki plan. It took a few hours of arguing, begging, pleading, and a call to the higher ups, but finally he got the ok for Kaneki to go out that day. He was only allowed to leave the apartment for a few hours while under heavy guard (they wanted to have him cuffed and secured as well, but Hide had convinced them out of it) but they would be able to make a trip to the bookstore that day.

By the time Hide got back to the apartment Kaneki was already up… well he was just walking out of the hallway, he was still in his clothes from yesterday and had a serious case of bedhead.

“Hey Kaneki, Guess what we are doing today?!” He closed the door behind him, walking into the house.

He just gave Hide an exasperated look and began to make himself coffee with the new supplies they had just gotten. He was never much of a morning person.

Hide puffed his cheeks out in an over exaggerated frown. “Fine then, if your wont guess I will just have to tell you.” He moved behind the counter so that he was facing Kaneki. “I, the amazing and astounding person that I am, got us permission to go out today.” He changed to a more sincere tone. “Even though we will be under guard, I thought that with everything that has happened recently you might enjoy going to the bookstore…”

Kaneki looked up from what he was doing “Really? But yesterday they were so insistent on having me stay inside the apartment.”

Hide nodded. “Yup! I took care of it all, everything had been Ok’d, all that’s left is for you to get woken up and ready and we can go. Now tell me, who’s your best friend in the world?”

“Thank you Hide.”

Kaneki smiled at him. It was the first genuine smile he had seen from him in who knows how long. There was no look of sadness in his eyes and he wasn’t touching his chin either; he was just happy. Hide felt his cheeks heat up, so he averted his gaze to the counter. Kaneki smiles were rare, but he never remembered them being this cute. _No!_ He shouldn’t be thinking of his friend as cute. He knew better than that, he knew he had to keep his feelings in check.

While Hide was having a small internal struggle Kaneki had set a fresh cup of coffee down in front of him.

Soon after that they found themselves making their way down the street to a local bookstore. For this being a randomly picked apartment it was lucky to have one so close. It was really nice going out like this… that is if you ignored the entourage of guards carefully watching Kaneki’s every move. Waiting for him to do something wrong. Waiting to attack.

The bookstore was small and quiet. Which to Kaneki was absolutely perfect. He ran his hand along the spines of the books, pulling one out every once in a while to read what they were about. Hide was peeking over his shoulder, reading along with him. Though it wasn’t long before the blond went off in search to see if the store had any manga.

As soon as he disappeared from sight, Kaneki lifted up the book the cover his face. Hide had done this for him, just to cheer him up. He couldn’t stop the small flush that was forming on his face. It must have been hell to convince the CCG to let him out, but he had done it anyway.

Once he was sure he was no longer blushing he lowered the book, tucking it under his arm as he continued to browse the shelf. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t stop smiling. Even though it has only been a few hours since he woke up this had been a perfect day, and it was all because of Hide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am trying to stay a few chapters ahead with my writing, so once again I will say, if anyone wants to see these two go or do something specific for a date or whatever just put it down in the comments. I have a few things planned, but I'm open to what you guys want to see as well.
> 
> Also I have been looking forward to the next chapter. It was one of the ideas that pushed me to make this, so I'm super stoked to be posting it next week. The rating will be going up though because the of the contents of the next 2 chapters.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rating has changed due to mild gore and all that usually disturbing bullshit that happens in Kaneki's mind. If you are easily squeamish and want to skip the gross stuff the nightmare is separated by breaks and the normal story will resume after the second one, but the majority of this chapter is the dream, so yeah.
> 
> Also if I missed any tags, or you think I should add one to better inform people just let me know.

It has been a little over a week since he started living with Kaneki, and it didn’t take very long to figure out that the other was constantly plagued by nightmares. He was often awoken by Kaneki’s screaming or crying, tonight was especially bad. He had grown so much stronger in the time he was away from Hide, but so much more fragile in other respects. He couldn’t blame him though, he had heard what Kaneki had gone through during his time at Aogiri. He never told the CCG, but the tracking device he had bugged Yamori with had audio. He had heard Kaneki constantly counting down. Heard him screaming in agony. Heard him begging to be killed.

Tonight sounded especially bad. Not only where tormented cries pouring out of Kaneki’s room, but Hide was sure he heard the sounds of the other’s kagune thrashing around in his sleep. It was always bad, but it had never been like this before. Hide wanted to do something for him but he didn’t know what he could really do.

Despite that he quietly got up, sneaking over to Kaneki’s room. By the time he opened the door to the other’s room it was mostly silent. Kaneki must of woken up from his nightmare because now he was muttering to himself, it sounded like numbers, and Hide was sure he also heard the other sobbing softly. He had no idea what the other had just gone through, but he wanted nothing more than to comfort him.

  

* * *

 

When he became aware of his surroundings he realized he was in that horrid checkerboard floored room again, tied to the chair. His captor loomed above him, his sadistic smile only visible by the gleam in his eyes. The rest was hidden by a mask, a homage to his name. Jason. He always found himself here, he could never escape. Even after he had left the man before him to die he still found himself here. Captive by his own mind.

The bigger ghoul pulled his favorite tool from the cart beside him. The pliers gleamed in the light, shiny and slick with blood. His blood. The pliers were Jason’s favorite tool. He walked slowly towards Kaneki, opening and closing the pliers as he did, making them clack together. Kaneki scrunched his eyes shut and turned his head away, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t stop the sound from reaching his ears. He knew what was coming.

But that didn’t mean he was prepared for it.

He felt the pliers close around his fingers then twist, sharply pulling upward. There was pain and a loud crack as his bone broke. Then it was pulled straight out. Kaneki could feel his muscle tearing, the skin ripping away as Jason slowly pulled his finger from his hand. The sweet smell of blood, his blood, filled the air. Laughter along with agonizing screams filled the room as this happened again. _1000_. And again. _993._ And again. _986._ And again. _979._

All of his fingers and toes slowly ripped away, each one dropped into a nearby bucket with a sickening plop. The worst part was that it smelled so good, his own flesh and blood. He was too weak to regenerate right away and hunger gnawed at his stomach.

He felt something skittering, burrowing into his ear. It whispered in a voice that was eerily familiar. “ _You’re so weak Kaneki._ ”

It hurt. It was all so painful. He wanted to get away… but he couldn’t, because as long as he was here… as long as he was here everyone else would be–

“ _You think that by staying here you are saving everyone…”_ The sickly sweet voice chuckled “ _But you really can’t save anyone can you?”_ Bodies began to rise from the floor, like flowers in a field. “ _Not as long as you’re here._ ” Bodies of Touka, Hinami, the manager, all his other friends at Anteiku _. “Not as long as you refuse to eat.”_ They all looked wrong. Disfigured and mangled, where their eyes should be there were only black holes. _“Because you’re still so weak. Because….”_

_TO LIVE IS TO EAT._

Their voiced echoed throughout his skull. Slowly the bodies began to drag themselves towards Kaneki.

_TO EAT IS TO GAIN POWER_

_No! That was wrong._

Hands clawed up his body, a never ending chant of _EAT. EAT. EAT._ Growing louder and louder in his head. Wherever the hands touched turned bloody; flesh, meat, and muscle, everything being stripped away.

_He had to get away. He had to run!_

Using the last of his strength he burst out of their grip and began to run. He was badly hurt, missing a good deal of his side, but he had to keep moving.

He was someplace different now. It was a dark, long, narrow passage, and his footsteps where accompanied by the splash of water. He ran and ran and ran down this small straight path, but no matter how far he went he couldn’t get away from the voices. _EAT._ If anything they were only seeming to grow louder.

Suddenly someone appeared out of the darkness, walking towards him. Hide. The blond was saying something, but Kaneki couldn’t hear it. Everything was drowned out by the constant mantra in his head.

_EAT_

He had to get him out of here. _EAT._ He needed to protect Hide. _EAT._ Because if something happened to him… _EAT!!_ Kaneki didn’t know what he would do. So he ran faster; pushed his limits, reaching out to the other. But right before Hide was in his grasp… he fell, and everything went black.

When he came to, the first thing he noticed was the heavenly taste of meat. He reveled in the flavor, it was by far the best thing he had ever had in his life. The second thing made his whole body go cold, as if all the blood had been sucked out of him. Before him on the ground lay Hide. Half-eaten. His entre lower half was missing, innards and entrails spilling out of his chest laying in a heap on the floor.

no…

The blond’s eyes were glazed over, unseeing, staring up into nothingness.

What had he done? How could this happen? He was supposed to protect Hide, but now…. But now…

Cold laughter rang in his ears.

“Protected by you?” Hide’s head turned, those glassy eyes boring into Kaneki’s.

_no… he couldn’t of done this_

“Who could ever be protected by you?” Blood started to pour out of his chest, pooling on the floor and extending outward into the abyss. “You will never be able to protect anything...”

Kaneki was frozen, unable to move as Hide’s arms gripped him.

“Because you’re nothing but a monster.” They slowly began to sink into the red sea of blood below them.

_He couldn’t have done this. Hide would never say that to him. This was false, a dream, it wasn’t real._

He struggled against the other, but their grip was like iron. Multiple other hands reached up around them, pulling him down faster. The laughter of Rize and Jason echoed all round. He wanted to scream, but when he opened his mouth blood poured in, cutting off all his air. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t escape. He couldn’t–

 

* * *

 

Kaneki bolted out of bed. He was covered in a cold sweat and breathing heavily. It was only a dream. They had been getting worse recently.

He lay back down, curling up on himself. He couldn’t get that image of Hide out of his mind, laying before him cold and motionless on the ground. His eyes dull, no longer able to reflect the gleam of the smile he usually wore on his face. Soft sobs racked Kaneki’s body and he did the only thing he could to try to get his mind away from that image, he counted.

He didn’t hear the sound of the door opening. He didn’t even register the weight of someone laying down on the bed beside him. It wasn’t until he felt arms wrap around him that he realized he was no longer alone. He froze, going completely rigid in the other’s hold.

He was cold as ice and shaking. It broke Hide’s heart to see the other like this, so fragile that the slightest breeze could cause him to shatter. He didn’t know what horrors Kaneki’s mind tormented himself with, but he knew he wanted to be there for him. To comfort him in the middle of the night, when he was frightened and unable to sleep. He lifted one of his arms, gently stroking the soft white hair of the man beside him.

“Shhh, everything’s going to be alright.” He whispered softly. “I’m here now, you can go back to sleep.”

Kaneki felt tears welling up once more. No longer because of the horrid images his mind plagued him with, but because Hide was here now. Warm and alive. He was here beside him, reassuring him once again. Hide seemed to be doing that for on a daily basis now. He could feel himself slowly beginning to relax into the blond’s touch.

Hide continued to softly shush and comfort him. Eventually he felt the other lean into his grip, breathing in deeply and gently sighing.

Despite not wanting to go back to sleep, to go back to whatever sick fantasy his mind has made up for him, Kaneki couldn’t stop his eyelids from getting heavier and heavier. Being next to Hide was just so nice, so relaxing. He couldn’t help himself from slowly being drawn back to the depth of sleep. But there would be no more pain, no more blood, no more dead bodies. Hide was safe and warm, and he provided Kaneki with the first night of deep peaceful sleep he has had in a long while.

Hide had felt the other’s breathing change against him, but he still continued on just to make sure that their breath stayed deep and even. He also had things he needed to think about.

It was becoming harder and harder for him to put aside his feeling for Kaneki. Whenever he saw him small and scared he couldn’t help but go up and try to make everything better. It hurt him too much to see the other suffering in silence, but it also hurt to know that the feelings he poured out onto Kaneki during these time would never be returned. He had to constantly remind himself now that Kaneki probably didn’t feel the same way he did, that one misstep could scare him off. That he had to be careful lest he lose the love of his life.

Eventually he too felt tiredness knowing at the back of his mind. How long had it been since he had a full night’s sleep? Living here he was constantly awoken by tormented screams. But now Kaneki was asleep, resting peacefully in his arms. Perhaps it would be alright for him to rest for a bit too. He didn’t want to know what the other would do if he woke up to Hide in his bed again. But perhaps, just for a little while, he could…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the rating wasn't going up for this chapter is was definitely going up for next chapter if you know what I mean *wink wink, nudge nudge* Your normal fluffy stuff will return soon enough though.
> 
> And on a side note, wow this really doesn't look like 4 pages on here; it looks so short.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> INCOMING PORN 
> 
> I put a break in so that those who don't really want to read the NSFW things can know where it basically begins.

He only meant to sleep for a little while, only an hour or two, he didn’t want for this to happen. He had still woken up before Kaneki, but when he had tried to quietly move away the other stirred, groaning in his sleep. He stopped, staying as still as he could until he was sure they were still asleep. Hide tried to make his escape again, only to have arms circle around his waist pulling him back.

“Don’t go…. ‘m still tired.” He mumbled, still half asleep. This was the first time in a long time he had slept peacefully through the night. Usually he needed to light of day to chase away the darkness in his mind and allow him to get a few hours of decent rest. But this time he had his own sun and he didn’t want to let them go. He didn’t want them to leave. He just wanted Hide to stay here in bed with him where it was nice and warm. Wait… Hide???

Kaneki quickly pulled his arms back, and sat up. “S-sorry…” He didn’t look up though, “I didn’t realize that you… that, uh, we were…” He vaguely remembers Hide showing up in the middle of the night, but his sleep addled brain couldn’t remember why.

“It’s fine, my fault really.” Hide scratched the back of his head. “You just sounded like you were having a bad night, so I… I just wanted to make sure you were ok, and I guess I ended up falling asleep.”

That image of a cold glassy eyed Hide flashed across his mind and he could feel the sting of tears coming once again. It felt like something was being torn out of him seeing Hide like that. But Hide was here now, next to him.

Hide was moving to get out of the bed, but Kaneki leaned into him, resting his head on Hide’s chest.

“Kaneki is everything all right?!” His voice was laced with worry. Right before he had leaned into him, the looked on Kaneki’s face was as if the world was falling out from under him.

“Yeah… everything’s fine.” Even he could hear the waiver in his voice. “Can we just... stay here like this for a little while?”

Kaneki’s voice sounded so sad and broken, Hide didn’t have it in him to refuse. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

They stayed there in bed for a while, but even after the day began and they started to move around Kaneki stayed closer to him than he usually did. He was acting as if he took his eyes off Hide for even a few minutes he would disappear.

 

Later that night they were both sitting on the couch, Hide watching TV and Kaneki reading one of his new books. It was nice, quiet but still nice.

“Classes at Kami start back up again soon, don’t they.” Kaneki quietly mused to himself. He had stopped attending classes after he got out of the hospital, but he wondered if Hide still went.

“Yeah, I guess they do, don’t they.” When Kaneki left the university Hide just went through the motions, attending class and taking tests, but it wasn’t the same. “I don’t know if I will go back though. I mean with you being here all day…”

Kaneki set the book down, lightly shaking his head. “I _am_ an adult Hide, I think I could stand being alone for a little while during the week. You don’t have to ruin your school career for a silly reason like that.”

He was right. It would be best if he returned to Kamii. The school was known to be hard to get into, and having a degree from such a school would help him in the future. “Are you sure though?”

“Yeah. And I could even help you study after dinner if you wanted.” He smiled, “And it would be nice to start learning something again.” He had really missed going to school, but at least now if Hide went he would still have to opportunity to gain new knowledge. Kaneki got up off the couch, and started to walk towards the bedrooms. He had just finished the book he had been reading and decided to head off to bed for the night, but when he reached the hallway he stopped.

“Hey, um… If you don’t really mind– That is, if you’re not opposed to the idea,” He was getting flustered, stumbling over his own words. “Would you sleep, with me, again?” Realizing what he just said, Kaneki could feel his face heating up. He quickly spun around. “Not sleep with me sleep with me, but uh– beside… Beside! Would you sleep beside me again?” He tried to clarify.

Hide just sat there on the couch, quietly looking at him. He sighed, he knew it was a mistake to ask this. “It’s just that last night was the first time in a long while that I have been able to sleep peacefully and…” his sentence trailed off, keeping the final part to himself. _And I don’t want to lose you again, even if it was just a dream._

When there was no answer Kaneki lowered his head, silently heading to his room to forget this ever happened. But he suddenly stopped when he heard a quiet reply.

“Sure, just let me finish this show first? I mean I should start getting some decent sleep if I’m going back to school after all.”

 

* * *

 

And that’s how their new routine started. Hide would get up early for school and come back late in the afternoon, and after he had eaten dinner they would study for a few hours before heading for bed. The only downside would be that most days, after Hide had left Kaneki would have to take a morning shower. A _cold_ morning shower.

Sleeping beside Hide he didn’t have nightmares anymore, but there were other dreams now. No, not dreams, he supposed they were memories.

Part of the problem might have been that he was pent up. He hadn’t done anything to himself since he had gotten here, it would have been too weird with Hide around, and it was a bit unnerving having security cameras pointed at every inch of the house, always watching.

However today, no matter how long he stayed under the cold water it didn’t seem to be helping. Not when his mind kept drifting back to the visions he saw last night. Visions of Hide looming over him flushed and panting, looking down on him with lust filled eyes as he thrust into him. Kaneki groaned. He shouldn’t be thinking of Hide like this. He shouldn’t be thinking about how he wrapped his legs around Hide’s waist, letting him push deeper and hit that spot that made him see stars with even more force. His dick twitched, standing tall against his stomach.

He wasn’t getting anywhere this morning, as soon as he though he got himself calmed down enough his mind would float back to these fantasies and he would be just as achingly hard as he was before. He shouldn’t do it though. He knew it was wrong, but it was getting to be truly unbearable. So, with much reluctance Kaneki twisted the knobs of the shower, allowing the water to heat up.

He reached down, gently wrapping his hand around his cock and slowly stroked up, rubbing his thumb over the head. It was already flushed a deep red with need. Kaneki glanced up, eyeing the ever watching security camera. He felt so shameful, but there was also this odd sense of excitement welling up within him. His hips rocked forward of their own accord, seeking pleasure.

He placed a hand against the wall, bracing himself so he wouldn’t lose his balance as he picked up the pace, thrusting into his hand a bit faster. He bit his lower lip in attempts to silence any sounds he was making. It was bad enough he was doing this in front of the camera, but he didn’t know what he would do if they had audio as well. He didn’t want to admit how badly he needed this, it just felt so good, but he still wanted something more.

Kaneki stopped his hand, a small whine slipping out at the loss, and brought it around behind him. He tentatively rubbed at his entrance, he had never done anything like this to himself before but he knew this is what he felt was missing; what his body was now craving. He gently pushed a finger in. It was rough and uncomfortable, the only thing he had for lubrication was the water falling around him and the small amount of precome that had already gotten onto his hand, and quite honestly it wasn’t the best thing to use for this. He continued to push in only a small bit at a time, letting his body adjust to the intrusion.

After a few minutes he finally had his finger all the way inside and he began to slowly move it. It didn’t feel bad, just weird. He curled his finger, searching for that spot that made electric pleasure race up his spine. Part of him wonders if wonders if this spot really exists or if it was just something that his mind made up for these nightly dreams of his. But then he brushed against something; something that made his hips rock back and a moan slip past his defenses. He pressed there again, rubbing against it harder. That was what he had wanted, what his body said he needed.

Kaneki began to work a second finger in, stretching himself. He hit that spot as hard as he could whenever his fingers thrust in, but it wasn’t quite enough. He remembers that full feeling and how good it felt, but he didn’t have anyone or anything around to uh... use. An idea crossed him mind. If he could flush anymore he would have because that would just be plain lewd, but it would work. It would give him the pleasure he wanted _and_ allow him to pleasure himself at the same time.

What he was about to do was truly shameful, but he wanted it. He wanted it so bad. His kagune slowly unfurled from his back as he removed his fingers. One of the tentacles began to press into him. It was slicker and slightly less tapered than usual, but it was still bigger than his fingers had been and it was able to reach deeper than they ever could. Kaneki had to put his free hand on the wall, using both his arms to support himself as his kagune continued to press in.

“hhnyeees~” He completely forgot about trying to be quiet. Moans continued to fall from his lips as he began to fuck himself, hips rocking back to meet each one of the thrusts. Using the other three appendages to help with balance he once again wrapped his hand around his cock. It was steadily leaking now, allowing him to move his hand up and down much more smoothly than before.

Kaneki knew he wouldn’t last much longer like this. There was so much pleasure washing over him and he could feel heat quickly beginning to pool in his stomach. He closed his eyes, once again going back to the visions of the night before. Of Hide thrusting into him harder, his pace becoming slightly more erratic before pushing in as deep as he could as he–

He cried out Hide’s name as he came, his kagune lazily continuing to move as he rode out his orgasm before slowly coming to a stop.

He stayed like that for a few minutes to catch his breath before his rinkaku finally began to vanish; retreating back into his back. It left him feeling empty and ashamed… but mostly ashamed. He finished the rest of his shower in silence, the water already starting to cool down from taking so long.

Before leaving the bathroom Kaneki glanced up at the camera one last time and hoped that whoever had been watching the feed today at least had the decency to turn away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't post this earlier like I usually do. I sort of binge watched all of Code Geass and lost track of the time. But hey its still Friday where I am, so technically not late.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I think people need some cheering up after that episode of √A
> 
> This was written well before I knew what would happen in the anime, but its one of the big milestone chapters, so it lined up perfetly

This was definitely going to be a problem. He knew how much of a problem this would turn into last night. It would probably have been best if he started to once again distance himself from the other, but right now Kaneki looked so cute. He was stumbling over his words, bushing and fidgeting in place a bit.

“Would you sleep with me again?”

Hide couldn’t answer right away. Kaneki was now trying to clarify what he meant after realizing what he said, but he was looking at him so expectantly. He could feel his own face heating up and his heart was pounding in his chest. Kaneki wanted to be near him again. He wanted Hide there so that he could sleep peacefully.

Hide should probably have refused him, but Kaneki just didn’t want nightmares anymore and how could he ever deny him peaceful sleep. “Sure, just let me finish my show first?” His voice was quiet as he tried to keep it in control. He didn’t really care about whatever was on the TV right now. He just had to calm down; to get his heartbeat back down to normal. He had also hoped that if some time passed Kaneki might already be asleep by the time he went to bed.

When he finally did head to bed he tried to stay as quiet as possible. Kaneki wasn’t moving, and his breathing was normal, so perhaps he really was asleep like Hide had hoped. But after he got in and settled he felt the other sigh and relax. Hide wanted nothing more to wrap his arms around the other, but he knew he shouldn’t, so he stayed as far on the opposite side of the bed as he could.

 

The next few weeks seemed to pass by in the blink of an eye and soon Hide found himself once again being called into the CCG.

“Welcome back Hide, please take a seat.”

They still had that fake smile plastered to their face. Honestly Hide didn’t know who they thought they were fooling.

“As you probably realized, we are coming do the end of our agreed upon time.” The month really had passed by in the blink of an eye. “So, now that we are here you have a decision to make. We have decided to extend the experiment, that is if you’re still willing to live with him.”

Hide still didn’t like the way the referred to Kaneki. Like he was something one should be repulsed by.

But they did bring up a good point. Could he really still live with Kaneki?

It’s not like anything bad has happened between them. In fact the past month had been absolutely amazing. Kaneki’s smile was slowly begging to return and it was almost like old times again. Though Hide was gone most of the week for school they were getting along great and Kaneki really helped him when it came to studying at night.

“I… I-I don’t know…”He lowered his head. Everything about the last month was perfect, but it hurt so much at the same time. He had always made sacrifices for Kaneki, so why was this so different?

“That’s fine, since this is such a big decision we can give you some time to decide… You have until tomorrow.” And with that they sent Hide away

 

* * *

 

He took his time as walked back to the apartment, he needed time alone to think. By the time he finally reached the house it was dark out. He still didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t just leave Kaneki all alone again.

_“Rabbits die of loneliness you know!”_ He had been saying that to the other for years. Kaneki would always laugh and tell him it was a myth and that Hide wouldn’t die just because he hadn’t seen him for a few days, but Hide had never been talking about himself when he said those words. Ever since they were kids Kaneki had reminded him of a rabbit; timid and shy, sitting in the corner all by himself, always on alert and cautious of anyone getting too close. Then, after his mother died Kaneki had locked himself away in his room. Hide knew that couldn’t be good for him, it wasn’t good for anybody to lock themselves away all alone like that, so he had taken it upon himself to cheer his best friend up; and that was the first time he uttered that phrase.

But on the other hand he didn’t know if he could smother his feelings for the other anymore.

Kaneki looked up from another one of his books when Hide finally walked inside. “Hide, you’re back late today. Have you already eaten, or do you want me to start making something?” He got up off the couch and started to head for the kitchen, but he stopped when he saw Hide. “Did something happen?”

“Ah, yeah the CCG wanted to talk about something with me…” He must look bad for Kaneki to outright ask what was wrong, he was usually indirect in his questioning.

Kaneki froze and seemed to shrink in on himself a bit, “Wh-what did they want? Nothings gone wrong, has it?” He doesn’t remember doing anything wrong, but why else would the CCG call Hide in unless something had gone wrong.

“No…no, it’s just that the month is almost up and all…” He turned his face away from the other, looking down at the floor.

“Oh… it is almost up isn’t it…” The past month had been so wonderful, being able to live with Hide, Kaneki hadn’t even realized their time together was almost gone. “So I guess that means I’m going back soon, doesn’t it?”

“Actually, about that… They wanted to talk to me about staying here longer,” He couldn’t look Kaneki in the face “but… but I just don’t know Kaneki. I-I…” It felt like his inside were being torn up. He wanted to be there for Kaneki, he really did, but he didn’t want to be there as a friend anymore. He wanted to be more than just Kaneki’s friend. But if he told Kaneki that everything would be over, so now all that was left was for him to run a way; to distance himself from his love until he could regain control over his feelings again. “I don’t think I’m going to take the offer.”

_What…_

Hide was going to leave him. “Was it something I did? Di-did I do something wrong?!”

“It’s not you or anything, it’s just that… I don’t think I can do it.” Hide turned fully away, heading back for the door. “I’m sorry…”

_Hide was going to leave. He was leaving him. No, no, no, no, he couldn’t leave!_

“Hide wait!” Kaneki reached out, grabbing Hide by the wrist.

“Let go of me Kaneki.” He didn’t even turn around to face him.

“Hide…” It felt like he couldn’t breathe. “You can’t… y-you can’t go, you can’t l-leave me like this…” His vision was getting blurry from tears. He couldn’t lose his most important person again.

Hide tried to pull away from the other’s grasp. “I said let go of me Kaneki!”

“Just tell me what I–“

“I can’t because it’s not you Kaneki! It’s me!” Hide didn’t know why he was yelling. Yelling never solved anything and he knew that. “I can’t be here anymore I just- I just can’t stand being here anymore knowing that you don’t love me back!”

Kaneki’s grip loosened and his hand fell back down to his side.

_Hide… Did Hide just say…_

“I’m sorry.” Hide headed for the door once again. He did know where he was going; he just couldn’t be here. He opened the door, but before he could walk out it slammed shut in front of him. Arms wrapped around him and the other leaned against his back.

“Please let me go Kaneki.” He couldn’t take this anymore, he just wanted to get out of here and be by himself for a little while.

“No.” Kaneki’s answer was firm, but there was still lingering traces of sadness in his voice. “I won’t because I-I…” Even though Hide couldn’t see him the way they were standing, Kaneki hid his face against Hide’s back; muffling his voice. “Because I love you too…”

Hide couldn’t believe his ears.

“I’ve loved you for the longest time Hide, but I… I was afraid you didn’t see me the same way.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you.”

“R-really?” He felt Kaneki nod against him. Hide didn’t know what to say.

“Yeah, really.” Kaneki sniffled. He wasn’t sad anymore, but he still couldn’t seem to stop tears from welling up because he was so glad and relieved. Hide wasn’t trying to leave because of him or something he did. He liked him.

He pulled Hide closer to him. “I’m just glad. I’m really glad.” There was a pause, and he rested his chin on Hide’s shoulder. “So… won’t you please just stay?”

Hide smiled, “yeah, I’ll stay.” How could he leave after that? He turned his head back as far as he could towards the other and turned slightly in his arms. “Hey, Kaneki.”

Kaneki lifted his head to question what Hide wanted, and he felt the other’s lips against his. It was a small kiss, more of a peck on the lips, but that didn’t stop Kaneki’s face from heating up.

Hide snickered. “You’re red as a tomato. With that white hair you look like some Christmas ornament gone wrong.”

“Shut up!”

A sudden gurgling noise cut the rest of their banter short, and this time it was Hide who was turning red.

“That’s right, you still haven’t had dinner yet have you?” Hide got in late tonight, usually by this time he has already eaten and they would be studying.

“No, but I can’t exactly make myself anything with you holding onto me like this.”

Kaneki let go of Hide and took a few steps back. “Sorry… Do you want any help? Even though I may not be able to help much with seasonings and stuff, but I can still help you with preparation.”

“That would be great!” Hide headed off towards the kitchen, Kaneki following close behind.

 

* * *

 

The next day Hide found himself back in the CCG office.

“So Hide, have you made your decision?”

“Yes, I’ll take you up on your offer.”

They clapped their hands together in false joy “Wonderful, then–“

“But!” Hide interrupted them. “I have some conditions.”

Their lip twitched “Oh? And what would these conditions be?”

“Well first of all I want Kaneki to be here if we are going to discuss this, he should be part of this discussion.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“I’m afraid we can’t do that.” All kindness disappeared from their voice.

“And why can’t you? He is a person and he has his own rights!” He was tired of them degrading Kaneki.

“The _ghoul_ known as Centipede is property of the CCG and as such he has no say in these matters.”

“He’s only half ghoul.” How could they do this? How could they completely ignore that Kaneki used to be a human! To Hide he still was human; he would never view Kaneki as anything less.

“He has no say in the matter.”

Hide was about to say more, but they didn’t let him get another word in.

“It seems, Mr. Nagachika, that we will be unable to come to a decision today about your conditions. I suggest we postpone this meeting until another day.”

“But–“

“Until next time. Mr. Nagachika.” And with that Hide was dismissed from their office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There, now these two are together and happy for at least a little while. *sobs* why must they suffer so?
> 
> Now that all this is done I'm going to go wallow in the sudden influx of Hidekane fics.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some fluffy stuff before the inevitable shitstorm that is :re chapter 24. I don't know about you guys, but I'm super worried about that "#Goodnight Haise" Ishida kept putting on the posts yesterday.

Kaneki hugged Hide closer. “You didn’t have to do that for me you know. I’m sure you would make fine decisions even without me there.”

“It just makes me so angry that they don’t even treat you like a person.” He huffed. He had come back a few hours ago extremely irritated from his meeting at the CCG and had confined a newly awakened Kaneki to the couch to cuddle and talk. “Why don’t you ever get mad about the way they treat you, it’s not fair.”

“There’s no reason for you to get all up in arms about it, because it’s only natural that they would see me more like a ghoul than a human. I can’t eat regular food anymore and I have a kagune and kakuhou too.”

“But they don’t even let you go outside anymore, it’s not fair!”

They had gotten permission to let Kaneki out once so far. Hide had went through a lot to get it approved too; begging the CCG to let him take Kaneki to a bookstore. The outing had been approved, so it’s not like they got in trouble afterwards, but apparently there were some complaints. People had wondered why there was such a large grouping of CCG officers in one area and feared that a dangerous ghoul may be on the loose, so any future outings had been prohibited.

“But they said it was in the best interest of the citizens. I don’t want to cause any unnecessary panic either, it will only make people view ghouls worse than they already do.”

Hide changed positions so that he was facing Kaneki. “But I want to be able to take you out and that’s impossible if you’re under house arrest. I want to take you out for coffee, and to the bookstore, and on dates and stuff.” He leaned in and kissed the other on the cheek.

Kaneki averted his gaze in embarrassment.

“Awww, c’mon Kaneki look at me.” He cupped Kaneki’s face in his hands, lifting his head back up.

This was still all so new to them. Last night they had found out that their feelings for each other were mutual, so they were still trying to figure things out.

Hide leaned in again, stopping right before their lips touched. “I love you Kaneki.”

Kaneki stared up into Hide’s eyes. They were so full of raw emotion, finally able to show how he truly felt. “I love you too…” He closed the gap between them, letting their lips meet. This kiss was slower and sweet, full of years of longing. Kaneki’s hands traveled up Hide’s back, pulling him closer.

Neither of them wanted this to end.

Suddenly Hide’s cellphone went off, making both of them jump.                  

He reached into his back pocket, pulling out the phone and looking at the display.

“Urgh.” He frowned. “I like just got back here, and whatever happened to ‘We won’t come to a decision today Mr. Nagachika.’?” He said in a snide voice as he put the phone to his ear. “Yeah? What do you want?” Hide didn’t even try to hide his displeasure.

Kaneki sat there quietly, trying to listen for the voice on the other side of the line.

“I thought I told you I wouldn’t without Kaneki.”

It really did seem like they wanted to discuss Hide’s conditions again. Kaneki was only able to pick out a few of their words, like dangerous, allowed, and leave.

“Well if the problem is him leaving the house then just come over here.” No matter how many times he is denied, Hide would never back down from something he wanted.

“Hide, you don’t have to do this. Even if I’m not in a cell I’m still a prisoner; I’m not supposed to be able to go out.”

Hide made a gesture to shush him up. He and whoever he was talking to said a few more lines back and forth before there was a long pause. Hide seemed to be very intent on whatever they were saying.

“Uh-huh. Alright, we’ll be there.” And with that he hung up.

Hide got up off Kaneki’s lap and slid the phone back in his pocket. “They gave in and said it was ok for you to be there for the discussion.”

“Hide I know your just thinking of me, but I don’t like being around those people.” He didn’t want to be near them if he could help it. To him it was good enough that he was able to stay here with Hide.

“C’mon Kaneki, I’ll be there with you, right by your side. I just want to make sure you’re alright with whatever is agreed upon.”

Kaneki sat there quietly for a moment. Maybe… Just maybe if Hide was there, it would be ok. “Alright…”

“Then we better get you ready.” He helped Kaneki off the couch and lovingly ruffled his hair. “As cute as it is I don’t think they would appreciate the bedhead.”

“And whose fault is it I haven’t had time to brush it out yet?”

“I plead the 5th!”

“We live in Japan, you can’t plead the 5th.” Kaneki said, walking towards the bathroom.

“Well I just did, so too bad.”

 

When they opened the door their escort was there, ready with cuffs for Kaneki. He reluctantly held out his hands. They were big and bulky, and if he tried to break out they were made to inject him with high doses of RC suppressants. They were a heavy reminder of how the world saw him now.

He was glad he was asleep for the first car ride over. The atmosphere was heavy and awkward, the only who seemed unaffected was Hide who was absentmindedly talking beside him. He could feel all of them staring at him out of the corner of their eyes. He didn’t like it, he wanted to be back at the apartment.

When they arrived they were led to that office that was starting to become a familiar sight to Hide.

“Please, take a seat.” They said like always, but this time there was no forced kindness in their voice. They didn’t want to be here, they didn’t want Kaneki to be here, and they were not going to make a point of how they felt. “So, what was it you wanted Mr. Nagachika?”

They leered at Kaneki when they said that, as if it was all his fault that this was happening. He sunk into his seat as far as he could, making himself look as small as possible.

“Well I think that Kaneki should be able to leave the apartment every once in a while. It’s not good for somebody to be locked up all day every day.”

They gave an exasperated sigh. “Do you not understand the concept of a prisoner Mr. Nagachika? We may be running this little domestic experiment in an apartment, but he is still a prisoner; property of Cochlea. Plus we can’t just have someone like _him_ ” They gestured towards Kaneki. “walking around in public unsupervised, and having a large group of guards has proved to be unsettling to the public.”

Kaneki looked down at the floor and began to crack his knuckles. He didn’t even realize he was doing it; it was just habit. There was some sick sort of comfort that he found in the act, like if he could still feel the pain then he would still be alright.

Hide heard small cracking sounds and looked over next to the other next to him. He was never sure if Kaneki was just cracking the knuckles or if he was actually breaking his fingers when he did that; it was hard to tell when he heals almost instantaneously. But one thing was for sure; Hide didn’t like it. It was unsettling and for Kaneki do be doing it he must be very unsettled himself.

He reached over and grabbed one of Kaneki’s hands, holding into it and gently rubbing his thumb over the back in attempts to sooth the other.

“But what if we make it so such a large group isn’t necessary. You’re having him wear those handcuffs right now, isn’t there some way you can modify it to be kind of like a parolee’s leg cuff? Well, maybe not a leg cuff, but something discreet that would let you track his whereabouts and such.” He looked over to Kaneki. “Would that be alright with you; wearing something like that? It was the only thing I could really think of…”

Kaneki glanced up Hide from the corner of his eye. “Yeah, that’s fine…” His voice was small and quiet. He knew Hide was just trying to do good for him, but he just really didn’t want to be here. Hide holding his hand did bring him a bit of comfort though.

They sighed. “I can call a few people and see what we can do, but I’m not making any promises. Are there any other conditions that you wanted to discuss?”

“That was really the only thing I had,” He looked over at Kaneki again. “Is there anything you want or can think of?”

Kaneki just shook his head. Even if he did have something he wanted he wouldn’t want to say it. Not to these people.

“Alright then, let me make a few phone calls to see about this condition of yours.” They dialed a number and turned their chair around so that they were facing away from the two.

After a few moments of silence, Kaneki spoke up. “You really didn’t have to do this Hide…”

“Stop saying that! I’m doing this because I want to” He smiled at him. “Plus, how could you ever survive without going to a bookstore ever again? I mean, we bought you how many books at the beginning of the month and you’re almost done with all of them.”

“Well it’s not my fault you read at the pace of a snail.” He finally looked up at the other, smiling back at him.

“Well sorry Mr. Bookworm that I don’t read like a bajillion words a minute. I mean how long did it take you to finish that last novel, a few hours? It would have taken anyone normal at least a day.”

Kaneki would have shot another remark back at Hide, but the other turned their chair back around. “The developmental department is testing a few things out, but I won’t have a definite answer for you for a few weeks. If anything else comes up I will contact you, but for now you are both free to go.”

The ride back almost the same as the ride over. The guards all eyeing Kaneki, waiting for him to do something wrong. The only difference was the he and Hide were going back and forth, continuing the light banter from the office. It made the ride a bit more bearable.

When Kaneki was finally uncuffed back at the house he dragged Hide back inside the apartment, pulling him back down onto the couch like they were earlier; with Hide sitting on his lap.

“W-what are you doing?”

“I’m picking back up where we left off.” He lightly kissed Hide on the cheek. “You know before we were interrupted.” He kissed him again, moving closer to his mouth. “That is, if it’s alright with you.”

Hide couldn’t help but to laugh. “Of course it’s alright with me.”

He tilted his head up slightly, looking the other in the eyes. “I love you Hide.”

“And I love you too.” With that he closed the gap between them, letting their lips meet one again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next week the update schedule will change a bit, the next chapter is more of a lead in to chapter 8, so you will technically be getting two chapters next week.
> 
> Also, I'm thinking of just having one main guard character for when these two are out and about and to show how that side kinda views this situation. The thing is I am hella bad with names. I'm thinking of naming the character Masanori Tamotsu. Masanori as the last name, meaning "model of righteousness, justice" and Tamomtsu as the first name meaning "protector, keeper". I think that name kinda fits, a protector/keeper of justice for their guard, but what do you guys think?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the lead in chapter I promised, the usual good stuff will be posted on Friday like usual.
> 
> And its like 4 in the morning I cant sleep, so here have the couch kissing stuff from the last chapter http://my-tokyo-ghoul-blog.tumblr.com/image/115659260901

Hide flopped down onto the couch, face planting into the cushion. “I’m bored! There’s nothing to do in this stupid apartment!”

Kaneki was in the kitchen making some coffee. He shook his head at the other. “That condition of yours that you went through all that trouble to get approved, it wasn’t for me was it. You just couldn’t stand being stuck here could you?” He joked.

“Ah! You caught me!” He rolled onto his back. “My kind and caring image is now ruined forever thanks to you.”

Kaneki walked out and joined him on the couch. “Ha, like you don’t ruin that image yourself after five minutes of talking?” He took a sip of his newly brewed coffee then set the cup down.

“Rude!” He picked up one of the throw pillows and threw it at the other. But of course he caught it and simply set it back down on the couch.

“You’re having them pay for cable, can’t you watch TV or something?”

“I would, but there’s nothing ooooooon” He whined.

Kaneki rolled his eyes “Oh no, whatever will you do?” He picked up his book. “I recall you bought some things at the bookstore as well, can’t you read those? I haven’t seen you pick them up yet.”

The only response he got from the blond was a groan.

“Then why don’t you go out and do something? I may still be under house arrest, but you aren’t.”

“Because then I wouldn’t be able to look at your cute face.” Hide loved saying things like that to Kaneki. It really was cute the way he would blush at the smallest things and try to hide his face. Sometimes it was hard to believe he was now a ‘dangerous’ SS rated ghoul with how bashful he could be. Of course he would never see Kaneki that way. To Hide he would always be Kaneki Ken, his best friend since childhood and love of his life.

Hide continued to lay on the couch, groaning and making other sounds of boredom which Kaneki promptly ignored. He just sat there reading his book and idly sipping at his coffee.

That’s when he got an idea.

Slowly he reached for the pillow he had thrown at Kaneki earlier; being careful not to alert the other.

“Hey… Kaneki.”

The other turned towards Hide.

“Catch!” And he threw the pillow at him. Of course Hide knew that Kaneki’s reflexes were too fast, that he would catch the pillow. That’s why he quickly reached behind him and threw another right behind the first.

Kaneki caught the pillow the other had thrown and turned towards him. “Hide I’m tr–“ And that’s when the second pillow hit him square in the face.

Hide sniggered to himself. It worked! It had actually worked, and the look on Kaneki’s face right now was priceless.

“Fine.” Kaneki set the book down next to his empty coffee cup. “If you want to play it way, we can play it that way.” He cracked one of his fingers and picked up the pillow that had fallen into his lap.

Hide quickly scrambled to get up, barely dodging a pillow that came flying at his face. He grabbed a pillow using it as a shield as he made his way around the coffee table, facing off with Kaneki. “You’ll never get me, my defense is impenetrable! Dare I say, im _pillow_ trable.” He waggled his eyebrows, pleased at his own joke.

“Alright, now I really do have to hit you for that.” Kaneki walked towards Hide, pillow in hand.

Hide matched his movements, keeping them at opposite ends of the table. “You’ll never catch me!”

Kaneki rolled his eyes at him. “Really, then let’s see how you’ll dodge this.” He sprang up, jumping over the table, pillow at the ready to hit the other.

Hide lifted his pillow just in time to block the blow from Kaneki, but the force sent him stumbling backwards. Even with just a pillow Kaneki was crazy strong now. And that is why he decided it was time for a tactical retreat, falling back into his room. He may not be sleeping in it anymore, but the bed still had artillery that could help him win this battle.

Hide heard the other coming down the hall after him. He threw the smaller pillow from the couch in the direction of the door, hoping it would hit the other when they entered, and he dived onto the bed to grab one of the better pillow weapons.

He turned back around just in time to see his surprise attack blocked by a red appendage.

“Hey! No fair!” Kaneki already had a natural strength and speed boost, but now he had four extra limbs to help him out. “That’s cheating!”

“All is fair in love and war Hide.”

Both of them went all out, throwing a barrage of pillows at each other. They hadn’t had a good pillow fight in years. It may be sort of childish now, but they couldn’t help but to laugh and have fun just like they used to.

Kaneki had the obvious advantage this time though, and it wasn’t long before Hide found himself being pushed back by the onslaught of pillows. The back of his knees soon hit the bed and he knew he was cornered. Kaneki continued to press forward, and he fell back onto the bed.

Hide felt a pillow gently hit his face, there was no force behind it. “I win.” He pulled the pillow away to see Kaneki smiling down at him.

“You may have won the battle, but mark my words, you have not won the war!”

Kaneki laughed. “No, but now it’s time for your _pun_ ishment. Plus I should get something like a victory kiss, right?”

“I suppose I could give you something like that.”

Kaneki began to lean down slowly, making Hide roll his eyes. “Just come here you dork.” He pulled Kaneki down on top of him and brought their lips together.

It started off just like all their other kisses had been so far, slow and sweet, just happy to be together, but the longer it went on the more heated it became.

Kaneki found Hide’s hands and grabbed hold of them, pressing Hide further down into the bed; enjoying the small sounds he made. He ran his tongue along Hide’s bottom lip, silently asking to deepen the kiss.

Hide accepted, opening his mouth to meet the other’s tongue with equal force. He wanted to tangle his hands in Kaneki’s soft white locks, but he couldn’t get out of the other’s grip no matter how hard he tried; Kaneki was too strong.

Their kiss went on and on, and when Kaneki finally pulled away both of them were out of breath.

“I think I know something we can do to relieve you of your boredom for a bit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all the fun stuff happens next chapter, so stay tuned for that.
> 
> Also, Hello, that hiking thing you suggested... it did not end like I originally planned. :T


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is all the porn I promised. 7 pages of porn.
> 
> Also 300 kudos. woo!

“And what as it that you thought of?”

“Well, while I may not have won the war, I still have my victory spoils from this battle, and I was thinking about how nice it would be to partake in them a bit.” He looked down at Hide. “How nice it would be to tie them up. To play with them for a bit while they can’t get away… That is if it’s alright with them.” He would never want to push him into doing something he didn’t want to do.

Hide looked up at Kaneki and nodded. He may have fallen for that cute little bookworm, but goddamn Kaneki looked so hot looming over him and saying that.

Kaneki’s eyes lit up, but it was quickly replaced with a frown. “But we don’t have any supplies here do we? We can’t exactly run out and get stuff and using my kagune is exhausting.”

“The closet.” Hide breathed out.

Kaneki gave him a quizzical look.

“In my closet there’s a small box…”

Kaneki’s face got red, knowing the implications of what that box was.

“Back when we first got here I didn’t know if I could keep up with you and your freakish ghoul stamina, so I had someone go out and get some supplies for me. I had them get like one of everything I could think of. When you got better and I moved to this room I took all the stuff with me.” He elaborated.

Kaneki nodded. It was embarrassing to know that things had been bought for that time, but at the same time he was glad they actually did have things on hand right now.

He got up off the Hide and walked over to the closet. It wasn’t hard to find the box in question. As he looked through the contents of the box he could feel his face heating up. There was indeed a wide array of toys and other such items in here, some of them still new in the packaging. He couldn’t help but wonder how many of these have been used before, on him. There were a few familiar objects, things he had seen in those dreams he kept having a while back, but it was still very much unknown to him.

He picked out a few things and headed back to the bed, moving in such a way to hide what he had chosen; he wanted it to be a surprise. Hide had shifted so that he was fully laying on the bed now, he leaned into him again, obscuring his vision as he set all but one of the items down near the top of the bed. He trailed his free hand up Hide’s body. “We should probably get rid of your shirt first.”

Hide helped, sliding his shirt up and over his head, and Kaneki took this opportunity to capture both of the other’s wrists, pinning them in place above his head. There was a small click and when Kaneki pulled his hands away Hide found he couldn’t pull his hands apart very far.

“Wh– Handcuffs? Kaneki!” This really wasn’t what he was expecting the other to do right off the bat

Kaneki smirked down at him. “You got to have all the fun you wanted with me earlier, so I figured now it was my turn to have fun with you.”

Hide would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying this prospect because Kaneki was so fucking sexy like this; which was not something he used to associate with him at all.

“This is still ok with you, right?” Kaneki asked, worried that Hide might be opposed to being tied up like this.

“Yes Kaneki it’s fine. You don’t have to keep asking.” Hide smiled up at a now nervous looking Kaneki. “How about this, if I’m not alright with something I’ll let you know, otherwise assume I’m fine with it.” The other seemed to visibly calm down after he said that. “Now get back down here and kiss me!”

Kaneki happily obliged.

He lightly bit Hide’s lip as he pulled away and lightly kissed down Hide’s jaw to his neck, lightly scraping his teeth over areas he knew were particularly sensitive. When he heard the other gasp out his name he smiled, lightly biting that spot again, lightly sucking.

“Kaneki.” Hide craned his neck, allowing for the other to have better access. The way he was acting, what he was doing, it really reminded Hide of the first time all of this happened.

Kaneki pulled up, looking at the mark he had just made. “Hmmmm… That may show others that you’re now mine,” His gaze wandered from the mark on Hide’s neck and down to his chest. “but I think there needs to be something here so that you will know that it’s true too.”

He leaned back down, running his hands over Hide’s chest and once again laying kisses over his collar bone. He traveled down further, not letting and inch of skin go untouched, stopping right over one of his nipples. He let his breath ghost over it, enjoying how it made the other shiver. “Look at these.” He let his thumb brush over the other one. “I haven’t even done anything yet and they are already getting hard.”

Hide squirmed slightly at the touch. “It’s because you’re being such a tease.”

Kaneki lightly laughed “Well I suppose I can get on with it, but first that mark.” He glanced up at Hide. “How hard am I allowed to bite? I want this mark to last, but…” but he didn’t want to hurt Hide.

“Well, that’s kind of a hard question to answer.” The last time Kaneki did this he had only just broken the skin. It hurt, but it wasn’t anything Hide couldn’t handle. “Just… Just don’t go too deep alright? I don’t want anything that will scar.”

He had been hoping for more of a definite answer, but he supposed that that was better than nothing. “Alright, well if it ends up being too much just tell me.” And with that he turned back to the task at hand.

Kaneki ran his tongue across the bud, paying extra attention to it before he brought his mouth down around that area. This feeling had become a favorite of his. The feeling of the skin growing taught the more pressure was added to it before finally giving way, letting his teeth gently sink into the muscle and meat, warm blood welling up and into his mouth. He couldn’t help but to let out a small moan.

Hide hissed. “Kaneki that…” This bite had been deeper than the last one. It wasn’t bad, but he definitely wouldn’t want anything deeper than that.

Kaneki immediately pulled back. “Hide!” His brows crinkled in concern. “Are you alright? Was that too much?” He didn’t think he had bitten that hard, but honestly it was hard to tell now a days.

“No, no. I’m fine, just don’t do anything harder than that, alright?”

Kaneki let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “That’s fine.” He nuzzled his head into Hide’s neck. “Thanks for letting me though…”

“Don’t go getting all sentimental on me now Kaneki.” Hide laughed. “I thought you were supposed to be playing with your prize.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want to treat my prize as nice as I can though. It is something I treasure after all.” But after that he moved back down to where he had bitten Hide. Blood was still slowly flowing from the crescent shaped marks. He ran his tongue across them, lapping up the blood that was there and lightly sucked at the wound to get as much as he could from it. He hummed in appreciation because who was he kidding, everything about Hide was delicious.

Only after he was sure he had gotten everything did he pull away again, licking his lips.

The way Kaneki looked as he licked the remnants of blood off of his lips, he probably hadn’t even realized that his eye had changed. Hide knew he shouldn’t find something like this arousing, but somehow Kaneki just made it look so good, and if he wasn’t hard before he definitely was now.

“Oh? Are you enjoying this?” Kaneki moved so that he was now sitting against the headboard and he pulled Hide into his lap. “Then maybe I should give you some more.”

Hide gasped as Kaneki began to once again massage his chest, lightly pinching his nipples and rolling them between his fingers.

“You’re so sensitive up here Hide, you’re making all kinds of cute sounds.” One of his hands began to travel lower, stopping when it reached to top of the other’s pants. “I wonder if you’ll make even more cute sounds when you’re played with down here.” He ever so lightly brushed his hand over the now obvious bulge in Hide’s pants.

Hide shifted his hips, trying to press forward into the hand, but Kaneki kept just far enough away for the touch to stay frustratingly light. “I thought you said you weren’t going to tease anymore.”

“Did I say that?”

He could hear the smirk in Kaneki’s voice. “Yes, you did.” Usually he wouldn’t be against a little teasing, but it was all the other was doing and he wanted more.

Kaneki wasn’t anywhere near done teasing Hide yet though. “Ah, well that was then and this is now.”

“That wasn’t even five minutes ago that you said it Kaneki!”

He chuckled against the back of Hide’s neck. “Alright, alright.” He slowly began to unzip the other’s pants. “I’ll stop teasing for now.”

“What do you mean by ‘for no–“ His sentence fell short as Kaneki began to rub him through his boxers. His hips canted forward of their own accord, seeking more or this delicious friction.

Kaneki moved his free hand down to hold Hide’s hips in place. “You’re already so worked up. Could it be that you like this?” His grip on the other’s hip tightened. “That you like me being dominant,” He lightly nipped at the shell of Hide’s ear. “doing whatever I want to you.” He whispered into his ear. He had to admit that he was enjoying it himself, Hide was usually so calm and collected, so seeing him slowly come undone like this was amazing.

Hide bit back a moan. “Kaneki...” It should be illegal to sound like that. He curled and uncurled his fists, wanting to hold onto something but unable to get very far in their bindings. He could already feel heat beginning to coil in his stomach, if the other kept this up he wouldn’t last much longer.

Kaneki reached in and pulled Hide out of his boxers, slowly stroking him up and down. Precome was already beading at the tip and beginning to drip down. Hide gasped, unable to hold back the sounds any longer. The other’s movements did not let up, and his hips began to tremble, wanting to move to meet Kaneki’s hand. “I–ah, I don’t know how muuu~ much longer I can…” Right before he went over the edge Kaneki’s hand pulled away, making him whine at the loss.

Kaneki reached beside him and picked up one of the items he laid down earlier. “We don’t want you cumming so soon now, do we?” He slid what felt like an elastic ring around Hide. “There.” Kaneki sounded rather pleased with himself. “Now I can take as long as I want without having to worry about our fun ending.”

Ok, Hide should definitely not let Kaneki pick things out himself in the future, not unless he wanted what he considered to be some of the more kinky toys to be used on him like this. Quite honestly he did not expect this from the other at all, but then again he was learning a lot about Kaneki today.

“Seriously Kaneki?” He groaned out. “Did you seriously have to use _that_?” He was only brought to the edge once, but knowing he was going to be denied even more was already making him feel needy.

“mhm. You got to see me be a moaning mess, so now it’s my turn to see you like that.” He changed their positions once again, lying Hide out on the bed once more. This position made it far easier for him to finally remove the rest of Hide’s clothes.

Kaneki ran a hand up the other’s thighs, taking time to admire his body. His long, lithe limbs. His beautiful chocolate brown eyes. His smooth, milky colored skin, only marred by the marks Kaneki himself had made. Hide looked beautiful just lying there, and it made Kaneki swell with anticipation for what he was going to do next.

He reached over and grabbed the bottle of lube, uncapping it and pouring a generous amount onto his fingers. Kaneki then lightly pressed against Hide’s entrance, rubbing small circles but not yet putting enough pressure to press past the ring of muscles.

“This is alright too, right?” He asked.

Despite what many people may have thought about him, Hide was not very adventurous when it came to things like this. He may have thought about it from time to time, but he had never actually done much to himself in the way of sex, so he had no idea what this would actually feel like. But other than being cold, being rubbed there by Kaneki did not feel bad. It was worth a shot.

“I thought I told you, you don’t need to keep asking me these things Kaneki.” He took a deep breath. “Just, be gentle. Alright?” It was really embarrassing to say that, but this Kaneki seemed to like things rough and he didn’t think that would feel very good for his first time.

Kaneki nodded. He gently began to push one finger in, watching Hide’s face for any signs of pain. Other than a small look of discomfort there didn’t seem to be anything wrong.

It felt strange, having something there. He was also glad that Kaneki was going slow because it probably would have hurt like hell if he was pressing his finger in any faster. It took a while, but finally the other’s finger was fully inside of him. Kaneki then waited for a bit, giving him some more time to adjust.

“Just move it already.” Hide finally said. He felt Kaneki start to slowly move his finger. Once again, it didn’t feel bad, just weird. Every once in a while Kaneki would change the angle, seemingly searching for something. After a while of the other prodding him, Hide spoke up once more. “Kaneki, I don’t think tha–!!” His sentence was cut off as a sudden jolt of pleasure shot through him.

Kaneki seemed to have noticed the change on his face, because now every thrust of his fingers was hitting that spot without fail and he was beginning to work in a second finger.

He enjoyed watching Hide like this. Eyes scrunched shut, gasping in newfound pleasure. Seeing him like this also reminded Kaneki about how uncomfortably tight his pants had become. He wanted some relief of his own, but right now indulging in Hide was his priority.

He now had three fingers working in and out of Hide, slowly stretching him out. He was sure that the other was prepared enough now, so he slipped his fingers out and he reached over to grab the last of the items he had picked out, making sure to coat it generously as well.

When Kaneki’s fingers retreaded Hide couldn’t help but to whine at the loss, but the he felt something else cool, hard, and most defiantly larger press up against him before slowly starting to press inside. It was one of the simpler things that had been bought; a plain silicon dildo.

“Do you like this Hide?” Kaneki asked, slowly thrusting the toy in and out of the other. ”Do you like the feeling of something inside you? Filling you up?”

Hide didn’t answer. The only thing he could think of was how good this all felt. How good it felt for something to press into him. How good it felt to be filled. And even with this new object Kaneki had not missed that spot that sent jolts of pleasure up his spine; it was as if he had memorized exactly where it was and intent to hit it every single time. He could feel the heat pooling in his stomach, but it was unable to go anywhere.

“Hide…” Suddenly Kaneki changed his movements, now missing Hide’s prostate ever so slightly and slowing to a near stop. “I asked you a question Hide.”

He had thought the never ending onslaught of pleasure was maddening, but what Kaneki was doing now was even more so. “Yes,” He finally chocked out. “yes.” He wanted to cum, he wanted to cum so badly. “Please… Kaneki.” He opened his eyes, looking up at Kaneki.

Kaneki stared down at the other, mostly trying to keep himself in check now because Hide looked absolutely amazing. There were tears beginning to fall and a look of absolute desperation on his face. And Hide’s cock was flushed a lovely deep red, eagerly twitching and begging for release. “Please what?”

“Please let me cum.” That need was the only thing Hide could think of right now. “I need it… I need you so, so badly.”

And that was the last thing Kaneki needed. He pulled the toy out of Hide and set it aside, going to work at ridding himself of his own pants. He made sure he once again poured a generous amount of lube on his hands, making sure he covered himself well before he lined himself up with Hide and began to press in. Kaneki gave a pleasured sigh, and started to thrust into Hide; partly losing himself in his own need to finish.

His pace was a bit faster than it probably should have been, but Hide did not seem to be able to protest any discomfort. He was staring bleary eyed at Kaneki, no longer able to hold back his moans.

Kaneki could feel heat beginning to coil and knew he wouldn’t last much longer. “Hide, I…”

Hide raised his cuffed hands to grab hold in Kaneki’s shirt, pulling down slightly.

Kaneki understood what the other wanted, so he leaned over the other, capturing his lips once more. He then reached around and grabbed hold of Hide’s cock, loosely stroking it a few times before removing the ring he had placed on it earlier.

As soon as that ring was taken away Hide came harder than he ever had before, his cries swallowed by Kaneki’s lips. Kaneki was not far behind him, thrusting into him only a few more time before finally coming to a stop, finding his own finish.

Kaneki lightly bit the other’s lip before pulling away. Their labored breathing the only sound in the room. They stayed like that for a bit before Kaneki finally pulled out and laid down beside the other.

Hide was the first to break the silence. “Well, that was intense…”

Kaneki smiled. “But you’re no longer bored, are you?”

“No, I’m not bored anymore, but I think I want to take a nap now.” He turned towards Kaneki, a smile on his own face. “One wouldn’t really think it, but you really take it out of someone you know.”

Kaneki made a small noise that he was not quite sure what it meant and kissed him on the nose.

“So… Do you think you can let me out of these now?” Hide held up his handcuffed hands.

“Yeah.” Kaneki sat up and grabbed the small key which was by some miracle not lost upon the bed. He gently grabbed hold of the other’s wrists and started on unlocking the cuffs. “Then we are going to take a shower.”

Hide rubbed his now free wrists. There were slightly red rings around them, but nothing that wouldn’t heal. “I don’t wanna, I’m tired.”

“Hide.” Kaneki said in all seriousness. “Trust me, you will need it.”

Hide held out his arms towards Kaneki. “Then carry me. I don’t really think I can walk right now.” He admitted a bit embarrassed.

Kaneki rolled his eyes, but he scooped Hide off the bed and carried him into the bathroom.

After they were all nice and clean Kaneki carried him back to their usual room and set him down on the bed. He got in behind and pulled Hide in close, and they fell asleep together just like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright. I got everything up to chapter 11 written out. I have chapters 12-15 figured out. But after that im not sure. (other than the last chapter of course. I know how i want to leave you guys) I need to come up with like 5 more ideas at least, so if any of you still want something to happen just say so and i'll see what I can do.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki gets sad, Hide tries to cheer him up.

Food was delivered for Kaneki every other week. It hasn’t been brown wrapped packages since that first time, but instead some type of watered downed slurry. In all honesty it grossed Hide out way more than the meat packages had. (You could at least tell what was in those).

Kaneki however didn’t seem fazed at all by the nature of his food, he would simply quietly thank Hide for picking it up for him before putting it in the fridge.

Even if his stomach was gurgling he would put it in the fridge.

Although Kaneki never said anything, it was very obvious that he didn’t want to eat in front of Hide. That was why Hide had taken to running small errands on the days the other’s food was delivered. More often than not he didn’t really have anything to do, but he didn’t want Kaneki starving himself for such a silly reason, so he would just waste some time until he thought it was safe to be back at the house.

It was also on this schedule that Kaneki seemed retreat back to how he was before they started staying in this apartment.

Hide would usually come home to find Kaneki nowhere in sight, but he knew where the other was. Kaneki would be curled up on the bed, staring blankly at a wall, just like he did back at Cochlea. And while Hide was glad that the other wasn’t refusing to eat, he didn’t like seeing Kaneki get so depressed over eating. But then again its not like he knew how it felt to only be able to eat one thing, and to know something… no, someone had to die for that meal to be made.

He just wished there was something he could do for the other when he fell into these depressions.

Even before all of this crazy had happened to their lives Kaneki had times of depression, but Hide had always been able to coax him out of his house and cheer him up. Now however, Hide didn’t know what to do. What could he say after all to make the situation seem lighter? _‘Hey at least you didn’t know the person that was blended up to make your food.’_ Hide just shook his head. That just sounded wrong on so many levels.

And that’s why right now Hide was just standing in the doorway of the bedroom, looking at a Kaneki shaped lump on the bed. He wanted nothing more than to somehow cheer the other up, but he didn’t know what to do.

“Hey Kaneki…” He said at last. “I’m back.” There was no reply from the other. “I uh, just wanted to let you know.” Once again Kaneki remained silent.

Hide sighed. He slowly walked over to the other and sat down on the edge of the bed. He opened his mouth to say something, but then decided against it and shut it once more. So Hide twiddled his thumbs in silence, glancing over at the other every once in a while.

When Kaneki felt Hide sit down on the bed he pulled the blankets around him tighter. He didn’t want to talk to him right now. He didn’t to do much of anything. All Kaneki wanted right now was to melt away into nothingness, because that’s what should happen to someone like him; they should just disappear.

He didn’t want to eat anymore. He didn’t like having to eat, but his stomach always said otherwise. Even if it was diluted he knew what the CCG was feeding him, there was no mistaking that taste. There was no mistaking that wonderful, heavenly taste of human flesh and blood. It was disgusting how good it tasted, he was disgusting because of how much he enjoyed it. Sickening. Revolting. He was repulsive; nothing but a monster.

Kaneki wanted nothing more than to pour that horrible sludge that they called food down the drain, but if he did that… if he didn’t eat it, then he would run the risk of hurting Hide, and he couldn’t do that. If he didn’t eat, if he hurt Hide, if he ended up losing the light of his life because of his hellish hunger… Well Kaneki would rather die than have that happen. So that is why no matter how much he hated it, no matter how much of a monster it made him, he would eat.

He didn’t know how much time had passed in silence, but it seems that Hide could no longer stand sitting still.

“Do you… want some coffee or something?” He asked softly. “I’m still not as good at making it, but…”

Why was it Hide just talk so casually to him? He knew that the other had no real errands to run today, but Hide left the house anyways just because he knew he didn’t want to eat in from of him. Why was it that Hide could stand to be so kind to him?

Kaneki pulled the blankets around him even tighter as a quiet sob racked his body. Why, why was it? Someone like Kaneki didn’t deserve someone like Hide.

“if you want some I could…” Hide’s sentence trailed off as he glanced back at the mass of blankets. “Kaneki? Hey, Kaneki, what’s wrong?” He began trying to unbundle the crying Kaneki.

“Why? Why are you so nice to me Hide?” Kaneki weakly sobbed out.

“You know why Kaneki. It’s because I love you.” Hide was still trying to find the other’s face in the mass of blankets.

“How… How can you say that?” He didn’t want Hide to see him right now, so he pulled the blankets as close to himself as he could. “How can you still l-love me after… after I’ve become like… like _this_? Kaneki spat out that last word. He was a ghoul, a monster. He wasn’t something a human, especially one as wonderful as Hide should be around much less love.

He momentarily stopped trying to unbundle Kaneki. _Was he really still worried about that?_ Hide had thought they had been through these conversations enough for Kaneki to understand he loved him no matter what. “But that’s not your fault. Some insane doctor did this to you against your will, it has nothing to do with you.”

“But I still… I still eat people; humans. I’m nothing but a- but a mons–“

“Ka-ne-ki!” Hide once again began trying to uncover the other. “It’s true that you may be forced to have a different diet now, but I do know you well enough to know that you would never kill innocent people, and that’s what matters.”

“But I have Hide! I have.” Kaneki sobbed out. “I’ve ki-killed people.” Back when he was still with Tsukiyama, Banjou, and the others he had killed too many people to count. Countless numbers of ghouls and their human scrappers where struck down by his own hands back when he was targeting the ghoul restaurants. Most the time he wasn’t even killing them for food. He just thought that they were wrong, that they shouldn’t be allowed to exist any longer.

“I know that.” Hide said softly. “I read what you were doing in the CCG’s reports back when I was still trying to find you. But you only went after those horrible ghouls, the ones who hurt and torture others for their own entertainment. They were all bad people who were going to die anyway, you just got to them before the CCG did. Also back then…” He let out a worried sigh. “Back then you didn’t seem to be doing the best. You had just gotten out of Aogiri and… and to tell you the truth I heard about what happened there too. Literally.” It was probably best to come clean about this, at least to Kaneki. “I may have slipped a bug onto the bottom of Jason’s shoe and, well… it had an audio feed Kaneki. “

Hide knew? Waves of dead washed over Kaneki. He had heard all of it, everything Jason had done. Hide knew exactly just how messed up he had become, but he was here anyway. “If you know all that,” Kaneki didn’t understand why. If Hide knew all that, then “then why? How can you still stand to be near me, knowing what a monster I’ve become?”

“Because all the changes you were forced to go through weren’t your fault, you need to stop blaming yourself for them.” He once again began trying to uncover Kaneki. “You’re kind, and sweet, and you would never do something without a good reason. I don’t know about you, but I don’t consider that monstrous. So now, won’t you let me see you face, Kaneki?”

Finally the other’s grip loosened and he was able to pull the blankets away from Kaneki. His eyes were red and puffy from crying. Hide reached out and gently wiped a few stray tears away. “There now, stop crying. How can a boy who obviously cares so much for everyone he holds dear call himself a monster? Hmm.” He pulled Kaneki in close. “So now, you just want to lay here for a bit?” He asked “Or could still make coffee if you want it. “

“I want to stay here.” Kaneki sniffed.

“Alright then.” Hide felt the other’s arms wrap around him. He smiled and began to gently stroke Kaneki’s hair.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” Kaneki asked, pressing his head into Hide’s hand. He liked when the other did that, it felt nice. Someone like him really did not deserve someone like Hide, but perhaps just this once he could be selfish.

“I would say that it’s more like you’re stuck with me.” Hide joked.

Kaneki couldn’t help but give a small smile at that. “Yeah.” He couldn’t really remember a time where Hide was not in his life. “Yeah, I am, aren’t I?”

He could be selfish and keep Hide all to himself.

“Yes, yes you are Kaneki.” He could hear the smile in the other’s voice. He was glad.

No, he couldn’t do that. Hide belonged to other people as well… but he could at least indulge in Hide while he was around.

There was a few moments of silence before Kaneki spoke up again. “Hey Hide?”

“Hm?” He wasn’t really expecting the other to say anything more, Kaneki usually liked to cuddle in silence.

Kaneki looked up at the other. “We’ve known each other for such a long time, why don’t you ever call me by my first name?” Hide has had everybody call him by his first name since they were kids. Kaneki had to admit it was a bit embarrassing at first to be so forward with somebody he just met, but eventually he got used to it. Now they’ve known each other for years, and while he may not have really said anything, Kaneki had figured Hide would feel comfortable enough by now to call him by his first name as well.

Hide thought for a moment. “Hmmm… Well that’s because there are so many Ken’s out there in the world, especially in other countries, but I only know of one Kaneki. It makes you special.”

Kaneki could feel his cheeks heat up. That was such a stupid reason to keep being so formal with him, but Kaneki also found it really sweet at the same time.

“But if you want me to start calling you Ken I can.” He added casually.

“No, no it’s fine. I really like that reason; it’s cute and very Hide of you.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Kaneki sat up and leaned against Hide. He was happy to be here with him, Hide could always find a way to cheer him up when he was down and thinking dark thoughts. Sometimes he wondered if he would still be here if not for Hide.

“Hey Hide?”

“Yeah?” He put his arm around Kaneki.

“Is that coffee offer still standing?”

“Of course it is, don’t be silly.” Hide got up off the bed, pulling Kaneki behind him. “C’mon, you’re coming too. I’m not going to let you cocoon yourself away again.”

Kaneki quietly followed Hide out of the bedroom and sat down on the couch while the other fixed up their coffee. Hide joined him as soon after, setting the hot drinks down on the table. Kaneki picked up his cup, taking a sip of the still steaming liquid. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Hide looking at him expectantly.

“It’s good.” He smiled.

“Ah! Really?! Thank goodness.” He let out a sigh of relief, glad to hear that his coffee making skills were now up to Kaneki’s ridiculous standards. “I asked Touka to teach me in exchange for helping her with Kamii’s entrance exams. That’s where I’ve been going whenever you uh, had your meals… but I wasn’t really getting it and she kept getting mad at me.” He laughed and scratched the back of his head. “I’m glad to hear that you like it.”

Kaneki set the cup down and leaned against Hide. “You’re too kind Hide.”

“It’s because I love you so much Kaneki.” He kissed the top of the other’s head.

“I love you too Hide.” He closed his eyes and comfortably sighed. He hoped things could stay like this forever, but some part of him knew that it was probably impossible for things to stay as nice as they were now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next few chapters get a bit angsty, but i promise there is at least a bit of fluff in each of them.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter idea suggestion by Hello. This did not turn out like I imagined it would though.

It had only been about a week since they had gone to the CCG to see about Hide’s conditions for staying on board with this experiment, but they had already gotten back to him on the status of his solution for letting Kaneki out. He had really expected them to put it off for as long as they could, not to actually seriously work on it. But when there was a knock on the door this morning, Hide had opened it to see one of their usual guards holding a small package. It was much too early and much too small to be Kaneki’s next delivery of food, which meant it could be only one thing.

He seemed sort of nervous, and when Hide opened the door he visibly relaxed a bit but was still overall rather frazzled. “This was uh, just delivered.” He practically shoved the package into Hide’s hands.

“Great! I can’t believe it’s already here!” Hide couldn’t keep the smile from his face. With this they could finally go out and about without any worry. He was about to close the door when the guard spoke up once more.

“Wait! I am uh, supposed to tell you a few things about it before it allowed to be used.”

“Oh,” Hide opened the door a bit wider. “Then come on in. It’s kinda cold out right now and I don’t wanna let all the heat out.” He rubbed his arms and shivered in an over exaggerated action.

The guard stiffened, as if that was what he were dreading Hide would say. He was about to refuse, but before he could say anything the blond pulled him inside.

“C’mon, nothing bad is going to happen.” He led them to the couch, making him take a seat on one end while he went and sat down at the other. The guard fidgeted nervously on the couch, and after a few minutes of silence Hide finally prompted, “So, what’s this we should know?”

“Ah, well…” He looked around the room, and after assessing Hide was the only one there beside himself, he relaxed slightly. “I was told that this was only a prototype and that it still requires testing.” He reached for the package which Hide had set on the table and opened it, pulling out a small metal cuff. “The design is finalized and was created to be subtle, but since it is far more compact than the usual handcuffs, in addition to needing a more potent form of suppressant a tracking device was added.”

He handed the cuff to Hide, letting him look it over.

“However, there are some concerns as to how well the chip actually works. For the test run you have been asked to once again be accompanied by full guard, but because of that–“ He jumped when another’s voice finished his sentence.

“Because of that we can’t be in the city, right?”

“Kaneki!”

The blond smiled at the person– no, the ghoul who had just walked out of one of the bedrooms.

“You’re up earlier than usual.” Hide set the cuff back down on the table and opened up his arms as Kaneki walked over to where he sat and into his lap.

“You two were talking, I couldn’t sleep.” His hearing may not have been the best, but it was good enough that the living room conversation had been keeping him up. He leaned his head against Hide’s chest, burying his face as much as he could in his shirt. He was tired and he didn’t want to deal with this right now.

Hide laughed. “Sorry man.” He turned his attention to the guard once again. “So we need to test this somewhere private?”

He stared at the spectacle before him. He and his team knew how these two were… _intimate._ It was quite obvious from the security feeds they were constantly monitoring, but how could the blond be so calm with something so dangerous curled up on his lap? He just didn’t understand.

“Err, yes.” he pried their eyes away, he didn’t want to stare. “So, if you can think of someplace we can do a test run whenever you are able.”

There was a muffled talking coming from where Kaneki had buried his face into Hide’s shirt.

“Dude, we can’t hear you if you don’t come out of hiding.” Hide patted the head of a still sleepy Kaneki who groaned in response. After a little bit of teasing and coaxing however he finally lifted his head.

“I said it’s supposed to warm up later today, we could like go out hiking or on a picnic or something.” Ever since he had gotten captured he had been neglecting his workouts, what was the point when you were locked up after all. Now that he was here though Kaneki figured he should probably start them up again, it was something he could do whenever Hide was off at school after all. It would also just be nice to be out in nature instead of the usually hustle and bustle the city provided.

“That sounds like it could be fun.” Hide looked towards the guard. “Would that be cool with you guys?”

Why would they care about what him and his team thought? It was their job to follow these two in case the ghoul went out of control and had to be subdued. Their opinion on simple matters did not matter. “I don’t think there would be a problem with that.”

“Then I suppose we should start getting ready.” Hide went to get up, but stopped when the guard spoke up once more.

“There is one last thing about the cuff. If everything goes well and we find it works like it should, well then it will be, erm, permanent.”

“We kind of figured it would be something like that.” Hide said, moving Kaneki off of his lap and onto the couch. He then got up and headed to the kitchen to start preparing coffee for the sleepy Kaneki and perhaps some sandwiches for a lunch.

The white haired ghoul made sound of agreement. And curled up on the end of the couch that the blond had just vacated.

With that the guard got up and headed for the door. Before he left he turned to Hide once more. “By the way if all goes well today I will be the one accompanying you on your outings.” He gave a curt bow. “I am First class Masanori Tamotsu, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” And with that they left the apartment.

After Masanori left Hide couldn’t help but to start laughing. “That guy was totally scared of you.”

“It’s not funny Hide.”

“Sure it is, all those tough investigators being absolutely terrified of a dorky bookworm like you, it’s comedy gold.”

“Just shut up and make your food Hide.” Kaneki grumbled.

“I take it you’ll want that coffee to go then?”

“Please.” He said as he slid off the couch, heading back down the hall to get ready for their little outing. He picked the cuff off the table. “Guess I’ll be needing this too…”

Kaneki stared down at the small piece of metal in his hand. To wear this meant that his every move would be watched even more closely than now, that there would truly be no escape from this place or the CCG. He looked back to the kitchen, watching Hide merrily go about preparing for the day ahead.

Then… then it was a good thing that everything he needed was right here. And with that he secured the cuff around his wrist. _There was no going back now._

 

* * *

 

 It was still rather chilly when they began their hike. They were glad they decided to grab their hoodies at the last minute, the journey up the mountain would have been unbearable cold if they hadn’t. Kaneki had insisted on carrying the backpack, and thought Hide protested at first he ultimately gave in at the end.

It was a leisurely hike, they were just enjoying the scenery and each other’s company. Masanori’s squad was there just in case the cuff didn’t end up working. Two of them took to the front, and two of them followed behind to ensure Kaneki would not be able to escape.

At some point Hide had taken hold of Kaneki’s hand, gently swinging their arms and talking about something like he always did. Kaneki wasn’t really paying attention, he was too distracted by the view. By the way the light bounced of Hide’s hair and framed his face in a heavenly glow, and by the way his smile seemed to be so much brighter and vivid.

Hide seemed to notice he wasn’t paying any attention to what he was saying because he was suddenly bumped into rather harshly. “Dude, at least say something if you’re not interested in talking. It’s totally not fun to find out you’ve just been ignoring me all this time.” He pouted. 

“Sorry. I guess I was just a bit distracted.” He lightly bumped Hide back and gave him a small smile. “The view here is amazing after all.”

The sun was high in the sky and the temperature finally beginning to warm up when they reached the midpoint of the hike. They were pretty high up, and they were able to see the ocean from the where they had chosen to settle down; it was a good place to take a rest and for the majority of their group to have lunch. Hide passed out some sandwiches he had made that morning to the guards before sitting down beside Kaneki who has secluded himself near the side of the cliff, away from the group.

“What are you all the way over here for?”  He handed Kaneki a thermos.

“They don’t seem to be very comfortable around me.” Kaneki held the thermos in his lap. “I thought it would be best to give them some space so they could enjoy their lunch in peace.” He didn’t really mind, the feelings between him and the CCG were mutual; he was not here to play friends with everybody.

“They just don’t know you well enough yet.” Hide took a bite of his sandwich. “It’s not like I know these guys personally, but they seem nice enough. I’m sure you could get along if you got to know one another.”

Hide’s words brought to mind that one investigator he seemed to always run into. Ever since he first met that man he wanted to have a good talk with him, but he didn’t even know the man’s name. Plus after their last encounter, after the way Kaneki had acted… He wasn’t sure if the man would even face him again.

Kaneki was pulled from his thoughts when Masanori walked over to them. “It seems like the tracking device is fully functional.” He didn’t seem too happy about that. He was probably hoping this would turn out to be a bust and his job would continue to be just watching the video feeds of a shut in.

“That’s great!” Hide seemed ecstatic over the news. “Hey, Kaneki, maybe next we should go visit Touka. I’m sure she and the rest of your old co-workers would be glad to know you’re alright, you did kind of just up and disappeared on all of us after all.”

That was one of the first things Kaneki had thought about doing, but he didn’t really want to bring doves into Anteiku. “I don’t know Hide…” Sure he wanted to know if everyone was doing alright, but how could he face them after what happened.

“Well then…” Masanori spoke up once more. “Whenever you two are ready we can head back for the day.” And with that he went back to where the rest of his squad sat.

In other words he didn’t want to be here longer than he had to be, and his squad probably felt the same way. Why should they pander to the wants of a ghoul after all.

Hide sighed and rubbed the back of his head. He looked towards Kaneki. “You want to head back now?”  

“Well, it doesn’t seem like they want to spend any more time out here, so we might as well head back.” He started to pack their bag back up, putting his untouched thermos and the empty sandwich container away.

Hide looked out at the horizon. “It’s a shame, we had such a nice view of the ocean and everything.” After saying that he seemed to brighten up tremendously. “I know! We could go to the beach next time!”

“I don’t think it’s quite warm enough to go to the beach yet Hide. We are lucky it got so nice today.” 

Kaneki slipped off his jacket, packing it in the bag before turning to Hide. “You still going to wear your jacket, or do you want me to pack it?”

“I think I’ll keep mine on.” He turned back to Kaneki and was about to offer to carry the bag on the way down, but he couldn’t find any words when he saw what the other was wearing. Kaneki had chosen to wear a black tank top that hugged his body perfectly, showing off all of those muscles he gained in his time away.

Hide didn’t know why he was getting so worked up over this, he has seen Kaneki’s muscles up close and personal many times now. Perhaps it was the aesthetic of the situation, or the way the light seemed to define them even more than usual, but he found himself turning away from the other to hide his face and calm down.

“Hide, is everything alright?” Kaneki leaned over, trying check on the blond.

“Y-yeah I’m fine.” He evaded the other’s advances, still trying to cover his face. Seriously, there was no reason he should be this worked up over something so simple. “We should probably get going now, huh?” He took a step forward, not really looking at where he was going.

“Hide watch out!”

Hide noticed a second too late as his foot came down on a loose rock and he lost his balance.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. First he was falling, it was probably not the best idea to be so careless next to a cliff, but now he knows better. The next second he felt strong arms wrap around him, stopping him from plummeting to his death.

“Don’t worry Hide, I got you.” Kaneki’s voice sounded strained.

That’s when Hide realized he was still hanging off the side of the cliff, Kaneki had grabbed him in midair and used his kagune to stop them from falling.

It felt like molten fire was being injected into his veins. The needles in the cuff had activated as soon as he released his kagune, but he needed to stop them from falling somehow. It took all the strength that he had to haul Hide back up to safety, partially throwing him back over the top of where they fell, and to pull himself back up as well.

“Y-you idiot!” Kaneki gasped out. He felt so weak, and his vision was beginning to close in on itself. Whatever they had put in this cuff worked well, too well, and it probably wouldn’t take long before he passed out. But that’s not what mattered right now. “What did you think you were doing?!”

Masanori and his squad where right next to the two boys in the next instant, and Kaneki swore he heard some of them murmuring  how a ghoul had just saved a human under their breath.

“Sorry…” Hide didn’t really have much he could say. He made a stupid mistake, it was something that could have easily been avoided.

Kaneki felt tired, so tired. “Just… just don’t do something like that again.” Then he let out a small laugh “At least we know the cuff works just fine now.” It was stupid that something like that crossed his mind, but he couldn’t help it.

“Yeah, because that’s what’s important after all of that.” Hide rolled his eyes. He scooted over to Kaneki who seemed to be struggling to stay awake. “Just rest.” Hide gently stroked the other’s hair. Once again, this was something that he couldn’t relate to at all. He knew RC suppressants were hard on ghouls, but he would never know how it felt. “We’ll be home safe soon enough.” Hide watched as Kaneki’s eyes gently slid close and his breathing became calm.

This was going to be one hell of a hike back down the mountain now that they all had a passed out ghoul on their hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, kinda bad-ish news. Finals are coming up, so I might not have many chances to write for this fic, I hope to finish at least chapters 13 and 14 which should be enough to last until memorial day weekend. After that I am officially free from the grips of school and will have much more free time on my hands, but there may be a week or two without updates depending on how may goes.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Serious talks and cuddles.

When he woke up Kaneki had one hell of a headache. He sat up, groaning and clutching his head. He felt like absolute crap, what had happened? Oh, that’s right. He remembered the events of earlier that day while hiking.

“Looks like someone finally decided to wake up.” Hide walked into the room. “Morning sleeping beauty.” He glanced at the clock. “Alright maybe more like night, but that’s not what matters.” He sat down on the end of the bed, next to Kaneki. “You feeling better?”

“Am I feeling better? I should be asking that to you Hide.” He wasn’t the one who nearly fell to death after all. “What were you thinking?! Being so careless like that!”

Hide scratched his cheek. “Hah, I guess I was just a bit too distracted by the view?” He hoped that didn’t sound as lame of a reason as he thought it did.

“You ass!” Kaneki gave him a semi-hard shove. He was angry. Angry about how careless Hide had been. Angry at how he is playing everything off as no big deal. “Do you know how much that scared me to see you falling like that?!” He threw halfhearted punches at the other and tears welled in his eyes. He knew letting his emotions run wild like this wasn’t helping anything, but he couldn’t help it. “You could have died Hide!” Kaneki grabbed fistfuls of Hide’s shirt, and put his head against his chest. “If that happened… I don’t know what I’d do.”

“I know…” Hide didn’t have much else he could say. He wrapped his arms around Kaneki. “I’m sorry. I was an idiot, a huge idiot, and I’m sorry.” Hide had messed things up big time, and he needed some way to make up for it. He gently rubbed circles on the other’s back, giving Kaneki all the time he needed to get it all out.

Kaneki cried for what seemed like forever. This wasn’t like the dreams he had every once in a while or the thoughts his mind tormented him with from time to time, this was something that had actually happened and if he hadn’t been there, or if he hadn’t been fast enough or strong enough, then Hide would have been hurt.  This, although not quite what he was expecting, was what he had worried about for all those month he was away and now he was just so relieved he was there and able to do something.

“Masanori and the other guards say thank you by the way.”

Kaneki pulled away from Hide, wiping the tears away from his eyes and he gave the other a quizzical look. “Why would they thank me?”He couldn’t understand why. _They don’t want anything to do with me, why would they be giving thanks all of a sudden._

“They said that if they had been more focused on their job instead of trying to distance themselves with you then they could have done something to prevent what happened, and that if you didn’t act so quickly I would probably be, well… I wouldn’t be ok.”

Kaneki really didn’t know what to say about that. He didn’t like the guards as much as they didn’t like him, so being thanked by them was just weird. “Oh…” was all he could manage to say in the end.

“Yeah, and while you were sleeping they gave me the rest of the details on the bracelet thing.”

“There’s more?”

Hide gave a small laugh. “I know right, for something so straightforward there sure was a lot of explanation. Basically they told me about how the suppressant works since it also got unexpectedly tested today as well. In short there are a few doses in there so it can be used multiple time, and it won’t activate when you’re in the apartment.”

“Why not in the apartment?” It seemed like a strange feature to add. Sure it would be nice to be able to stretch his kagune out from time to time, but it’s not like he needed it anymore. Not with being captured and all at least.

Hide coughed “They, uh, made a comment about kagune and how I…” He turned his head away, flushed slightly red and mumbled. “how I like it when you use it, so they made it so you can still use it in the house…”  It was so embarrassing knowing why they put a feature like that in there.

Kaneki also couldn’t help but blush as he thought of that one instance in the shower a while back. “Oh…” was all he said in the end.

“Hey, what’s it like having a kagune by the way?” He wanted to try to steer the conversation in a different direction.

Kaneki shrugged. “I don’t know, I’ve gotten used to it I guess. I don’t really think about it anymore.”

“They always seemed so cool, but it’s not like I ever thought I’d see one up close. They were squishier than I thought they’d be.”

“Well they are not always like that.” Kaneki said with a small smile. “They are much sharper when I fight, but I don’t want to hurt you, so having them be sharp would be a bad idea.”

Hide pulled Kaneki close to him “We’ve never really talked about this you know, the whole ghoul thing.”

“We’ve talked about it before.” He said, leaning against Hide’s shoulder.

“Yeah, but we haven’t talked about it talked about it, like in the sense of really talking about it.”

“Hide, that made so much sense.” Kaneki rolled his eyes at the blond.

He nodded. “Yes, yes it did. But seriously Kaneki, I think this will be good for us. So tell me, what was it like when you first got out of the hospital?”

“Well…” Kaneki began. “It was frightening. I didn’t realize what was wrong at first, food tasted horrible, but I had just gotten out of surgery, so I thought that might have something to do with it. Or, maybe I knew something was wrong deep down and I just didn’t want to deal with it. I didn’t have much of an appetite, so I thought that even if something was wrong it was fine; the lack of appetite wasn’t harming anything so I didn’t pay it much mind… But then, after a few days had passed, I started to get hungry. But even though I felt hungry, everything I ate still tasted horrible, I couldn’t keep it down. I knew something was wrong, but I thought if I ignored it everything wrong would just go away and things would go back to how they were.”

“So that’s why you looked so bad after you got out? You were starving yourself.” Hide said simply.

Kaneki glanced up at the blond. “Did you know, even back then?”

“No, not at that point. I had a feeling, but I wasn’t quite sure yet.” He said. “Why didn’t you just eat though? I read that hunger is bad, like seriously bad for ghouls. I’m sure it must have been hard trying to act normal.”

“Because…” Kaneki said quietly. “Because if I did eat I wouldn’t be able to refuse it anymore. I wouldn’t be able to refuse the fact that I wasn’t human and I wouldn’t be able to be around you. That’s when I found An–“ He stopped himself before saying the name. They still didn’t know if this place was bugged or not after all. “I found some people that helped me. I thought things would be better after that, but even then I put you in danger. You got hurt because of me, and I still wasn’t eating like I should and I almost attacked…” He cut his sentence off short. He didn’t like remembering that incident. He was hungry and not thinking straight, if Touka hadn’t stopped him he probably would have eaten Hide.

“Yeah, that sure was scary wasn’t it.” Hide pulled Kaneki in a bit closer. “That was the first time I knew for sure I was right by the way. I heard you guys talking after everything happened. I thought if I kept quiet and acted ignorant, that you would eventually be alright with things as tell me the truth, but that didn’t end up happening…”

“It’s not like I didn’t want to tell you Hide. I thought about it many times. But I was afraid that you would turn me away and call me a monster.”

“I don’t know where you got that crazy idea from. You know me, I would never say something like that to you.”

“I know… I was just scared. And it’s not like it mattered because right after that, Aogiri…” After that he was kidnapped. Tricked by Jason and endured those ten hellish days. Fingers, toes, cracking, breaking. Being torn away. A centipede being put in, stuck in his ear. Ten days. Being forced to choose who lives, woman or her child. No he didn’t want to. Get away he had to get away and get stronger.

Kaneki had started slightly shaking. Hide knew what must have come next. He could understand why Kaneki wouldn't want to talk about it, he had only heard what happened and it gave him nightmares for weeks. “You don’t have to talk about that part if you don’t want to, just skip to after you broke out.” He lightly rubbed the other’s shoulder, hoping it would help him calm down a bit.

No, he didn’t have to do that anymore. Hide was here and he was safe. He had been able to protect him and they were together now. He leaned into the others touch, letting it calm him down.

“After that I decided I had to get stronger. I had to protect you and everybody else by getting rid of those who shouldn’t exist. If I killed all of them and left only good people, then I would be able to go back to you and everybody else without having to worry.”

“That was silly of you.” Hide said. “We didn’t want you going around defeating bad ghouls for us like some caped crusader in the night. I think everyone else would agree that we would have just been glad if you came back home alive and well.”

“Well it didn’t last that long anyways...” _I wasn’t strong enough. I was devoured and defeated._ He didn’t say the last part. He knew Hide wouldn’t like him thinking of it that way. He knew that way of thinking was wrong, but he still couldn’t forgive the fact that Kanou got away. He got away because he still hadn’t been strong enough to stop him.

Hide sighed. “You know, when I first saw you after all this happened. Back when you were still in Cochlea… I hardly recognized you. So much had changed, and it wasn’t just your appearance. You were so different, and indifferent, and cold. I looked at you, and I could hardly see my best friend. It was almost like he was gone.”

Kaneki wanted to curl in on himself. He knew he had changed a lot, but it stung to hear the other say that.

“But then we started staying together here, and we worked through some tough things together. And little by little it seems like some of the old Kaneki is coming back. You started smiling more and showing you feelings, at least to me. You still kinda go all silent around CCG people, but that’s understandable. But my point is, you seem to be happier now, and that’s good.”

“It’s all because of you though Hide. Like I said before, without you I don’t know what I’d do.”

Kaneki yawned. He was still rather ran down from all those suppressants, and this conversation was really emotionally draining. Even though he had just woken up he felt like he wanted to fall back asleep.

Hide gave a small smile. “If you’re tired just go back to sleep.” He shifted to let Kaneki rest against him more comfortably. Kaneki mumbled a few things that he couldn’t quite make out, but after that his breathing became deep and steady once more.

Those suppressants must have really taken a lot out of him. They were also probably the reason that got Kaneki to talk openly like that. If he was actually thinking straight he probably would have never spilled nearly everything to him.

But Kaneki looked so peaceful when he was sleeping. Other than the white hair, he looked exactly like he did before everything happened.

Hide was glad to see the other like this, peaceful and without any worries.

It really was late, and he was starting to get tired himself. So he moved Kaneki so that he was resting comfortably snuggled up right behind him, wrapping his arms around the other man and pulling him in close. Hopefully tomorrow would be better, they could even go out and get coffee or something. Yeah, coffee sounded good, they should go do that. And with that final thought, he too drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, turns out im actually going to be home this weekend (although i will mostly be studying and sewing up a cosplay I need to finish quick)but i should have time to write up those two chapters that will push us to memorial day weekend and out of finals week.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it begins. So kinda gross stuff this chapter, I tried to be as vague with wording as i could while still trying to be descriptive (if that's even possible) because this chapter is actually a really important set up into the plot in a few chapters and I wanted people who are easily grossed out to be able to read it.

Things seemed to be going well for the two, or at least nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Both boys had kind of been expecting that cuff to have some other function they were never told about, but that didn’t seem to be the case.

Things have been very normal.

Hide still went to school most days of the week, and Kaneki usually spent his time at home. Every once in a while he would take Masanori or one of the other guards out so he could go pick up a book or go get a cup of coffee, but he honestly preferred the quiet comfort the apartment had come to have.

A package arrived for Kaneki today, just as it did every other week, and Hide had put it in the fridge, just as he always did. After he closed the door to the refrigerator he felt the other’s arms wrap around him and kiss the back of his neck.

“Morning Kaneki.”

“Mmm, it’s too early.” He started to gently rock them back and forth. “You don’t have class today, you should come back to bed.”

Hide laughed lightly and laced one of his hands with Kaneki’s. “I would love to do that, but I was going to hit the library and study for a few hours. I have a test coming up soon and I’m not ready at all.” He usually studied with Kaneki, but he needed to get out of the house for a little while so Kaneki would actually eat, and this time he actually had something he could do to fill that time.

“But Hide…” He wanted to bring the blond back to bed, to cuddle him close and just spend some time with him.

Hide brought the other’s hand up and lightly kissed it. “Maybe we could do that tomorrow, but today I really should go and study.” He stepped out of Kaneki’s hold. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”

And then Hide left for a while, just as he always did. So Kaneki went to the fridge and got out the container the other had just put away.

He didn’t like doing this, he didn’t want to do this. He wondered where the CCG even got the supplies to make the meals for all the ghouls they kept captured, but he never thought about it too hard; he didn’t really _want_ to know. What he did know is that after he opened the lid, that enticing smell would turn him into the thing he hated the most.

But when he opened the lid, something smelled… _off_ , and he knew it had finally begun. Things here, living with Hide, had been going far too well. The CCG would never just let him live a normal life being what he was, but they also knew that they would not have gotten far with whatever they wanted to do if he was still locked up in Cochlea. If Kaneki was still in there he could refuse to eat if he wanted to. He would eventually turn into a ravenous monster, but he was alone in his cell, there was nobody he could hurt. But now he had Hide. By giving him all this freedom they had trapped him far more than that cell had, because the one thing he wouldn’t do is allow himself to be put Hide in a dangerous situation.

Tentatively he took a bite. The usual delicious taste of human meat washed over his tongue, but it was accompanied with a slight aftertaste of pig intestines and animal fat. It wasn’t that bad, nothing in comparison to eating human food, more like the unpleasant taste of ghoul meat had, but even so the taste was still off. He didn’t think about it too hard and took another bite.

He forced himself to eat all of it, just as he always did.

There didn’t seem to be anything wrong after he finished eating, so all that was left was to wait for Hide to come back home. It wasn’t until a few hours later that he knew how wrong that thought was.

Kaneki was doing what he usually did to pass the time, sitting on the couch reading a book, when his stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch. All of a sudden he was feeling too good. His meal felt heavy in his stomach, accompanied by a dull pain. He hated to think it, but it felt almost as if he had eaten regular food.

Slowly he got up off the couch and headed to the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. He was going to be fine, he just needed something to calm his stomach down, so he took the smallest sip he could. His eyes snapped open and he had to quickly put the glass down and run to the bathroom.

He felt horrible as he emptied the contents of his earlier meal into the toilet. He walked over to the sink, washing off his face and once again trying to drink a small amount of water; anything to get the acidic taste of bile out of his mouth. Unfortunately his body seemed to be rejecting everything he tried to take in, only attempting to rid itself of whatever he had ingested earlier.

After dealing with his new bout of nausea Kaneki curled up on the bathroom floor and groaned. Sharp pains were now shooting through his abdomen. It hurt. He knew something was wrong with the food as soon as he smelled it, he should never have forced himself to eat that meal when it was so obvious it had been tampered with.

 

Hide had though enough time had passed by now for Kaneki to have eaten. He hoped that after the talk they had last time he wouldn’t walk in to find Kaneki nowhere in sight, off sulking again in one of the beds. It was totally understandable why Kaneki got sad like that after he ate, but he just didn’t like to see the other like that every other week like clockwork. It hurt him to see Kaneki under so much stress and mental anguish just because of a meal.

He unlocked the door and stepped inside and… Kaneki was nowhere in sight.

“Hey Kaneki, I’m back!”  He called out as cheerfully as he could. He headed to the bedroom where he expected to find a Kaneki shaped lump, but there was nothing there. “Kaneki?” He called out again. Then he heard sounds coming from the bathroom.

He walked over and lightly rapped on the closed door. There was no answer, only the sound of somebody being sick and a light groaning. Hide quickly turned the handle, and thankfully the other had left the door unlocked, and burst inside.

“Kaneki! What’s wrong?” He rushed over to the white haired man. He was hunched over the toilet, he looked way too pale to be good, and he was trembling.

“I’m f-fine Hide, I-I just–“ He was cut off by a new wave of nausea. “I just need some rest…”

Hide looked at the other with concern. Kaneki was definitely not ok. Hide reached out to steady him when he had to hunch over the toilet once more. He was surprised by how hot the other was; Kaneki’s skin felt like it was on fire and he was covered by a light sheen of sweat. 

“You are not fine!” He gently rubbed the other’s back. “But your right, you do need rest. Can you make it to the bed?”

Kaneki lightly nodded. Besides all the pain he was in he felt tired and worn out, he just wanted to go sleep for a bit. He gripped onto Hide, using the other for support as they slowly made their way into the bedroom.

Hide helped Kaneki lay down in the bed, situating him to be comfortable. He then went and got a bucket, just in case Kaneki would need it, and a cool washcloth. Hide set the bucket beside the bed, “There we go.” He then brushed a few strands of white hair from the other’s forehead and set the cool cloth there. “I’m going to run out and get a few things...” He hated the thought of leaving Kaneki alone like this, but they didn’t really have the supplies for this. “You just get all the rest you need, okay?” He lightly brushed Kaneki’s cheek, wanting him to know his concern.

Kaneki probably would have smiled if he wasn’t feeling so bad at the moment, all he managed was a weak nod, leaning towards the others touch.

Reluctantly Hide left the other, leaving the house once more. The first thing he did was head to the apartment next to their, and loudly knock on the door. “Hey! Open this door right now!” He was furious. Whatever happened to Kaneki was obviously not natural and he wanted answers now.

When the door opened he was greeted by the familiar face of Masanori. He wasted no time in getting down to business. “What did you guys do to Kaneki?! It’s… It’s like he got food poisoning or something!”

“Nothing in particular Hide, just part of the experiment.” The guard looked slightly sorry for what had happened, but this was why they were here after all.

“What did you give him?” Hide narrowed his eyes.

“You always point out how he was formerly human, so this was to see if he was more resistant to foods of his former diet than other ghouls are. This was an idea from the higher ups, we just bring the food during the shift change Hide. There was nothing we could do about it. We will give you some food for him to eat once he gets better.”

He just huffed in response and turned away, heading to a small store that would carry the supplies he needed to get. Hide knew that what Masanori was saying was right; the guards had nothing to do with any of this, but he was still angry at how powerless he felt about everything. It was only a matter of time before they started doing things to Kaneki, and there was nothing he could do to stop it and he hated that. It’s just that Kaneki had gone through so much already, he didn’t need any more suffering in his life. Hide wanted nothing more than to just be able to protect the other from harm, but this wasn’t like school bullies or Kaneki’s aunt; he couldn’t do anything against an organization like the CCG  and he hated it.

Kaneki didn’t get any better that night. Hide wished he could have gotten some medicine at the store but the half ghoul wouldn’t be able to ingest it, so all he was able to get was some ice packs and such to deal with the fevers. He also read up a bit on food poisoning, even though this was sort of different he wanted to know more about the symptoms and what to do just in case it might help.

 

When Kaneki woke up the next day he felt a bit better. He still felt like complete shit, but it was still better compared to yesterday, at least now he wasn’t overwhelmed by constant waves of nausea. He looked over to see Hide fast asleep. The blond must have dragged a chair in to be beside Kaneki and watch over him, but now he was slumped over onto the bed, softly snoring.

_He must have stayed up all night trying to take care of me._ Kaneki smiled and tentatively reached out and brushed his fingers against Hide’s head, causing his eyes to flutter open.

“Kaneki! Are you feeling better? Do you need anything?” Now that he was awake again Hide had gone back to fussing over the other.

“I’m fine for now.” He reached down and laced his hand with one of Hide’s. “Thanks for taking care of me Hide.

“Anything for you Kaneki.” It was the least he could do after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you ever been sick like that though? It sucks. Last time i was like that we were visiting family in Colorado, and I as really hoping to get to see some snow, so I'm just kinda dead on the couch unable to even drink water when everyone calls me up on the phone all like "Hey guess what? We were out at olive garden and guess what?! It started snowing!!". So not only were they at the place I wanted to eat at if I wasn't so sick, but they called to tell me it was snowing when I couldn't go outside.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just a fun idea I had when I first started thinking up plot for this series.

“C’mon slowpoke.” Hide was dragging the white haired man down the busy sidewalk.

Kaneki stumbled slightly, pulled off balance by the blond constantly tugging on him. “It’s just coffee Hide, no need to be in such a rush.”

He scoffed “Just coffee? This is not _just_ coffee, this is our first official coffee date! To commemorate you getting better and all.” He also gave a little pout. “I even got our escort to hang back a bit so we could kinda be alone.” Masanori kept a few paces behind them, giving them enough space to feign a sense of being alone together while still doing his job.

“But we didn’t have to come all the way to the 20th ward to get the coffee.” Kaneki knew what Hide was trying to do and he didn’t like it. He had decided not to bring doves anywhere near Anteiku if he could help it.

The sign of the familiar coffee shop was in view now. “I wanted to treat you to the best coffee in all of Tokyo, but if you really don’t want to go in, I guess you can wait outside while I go get the drinks.” Hide let the other’s hand go. “Just wait by the window and I’ll be back before you know it!” With that he cheerily headed into the coffee shop.

Anteiku was rather empty considering it was the middle of the afternoon; usually you would find it jam-packed with students getting some studying in and relaxing a bit before heading home for the day.

“Touka!” The blond called out cheerily when he saw the familiar face of his favorite waitress.

She simply scowled at him. When he first went to her for coffee lessons he had confessed to knowing about her being a ghoul. She looked like she wanted to kill him on the spot, but he brought up how he was being monitored by the CCG and it would not be good for her to do anything rash; she seemed to back down a bit after that. He told her about how Kaneki was captured and what they have been doing, she had been really worried about him, and begrudgingly agreed to teach Hide how to properly brew coffee.

“I didn’t expect you to come on for another week, did something happen?” She asked, eyeing the blond as he walked up and leaned on the counter.

He smiled at her. “No, well nothing wrong today at least… I was just taking Kaneki on a date to get some coffee and stuff. He wasn’t feeling well the past few days, so I thought some Anteiku coffee made by the wonderful Touka would cheer him up a bit.”

Everything he said seemed to be ignored as soon as Kaneki’s name left his lips. “You mean that idiot is here?!” She began to relentlessly pound Hide with questions. “This isn’t some sort of trap, is it? Why are the doves just letting him walk about? And if he really can go about why hasn’t that idiot come back to say hi to us yet? Hinami has been worried sick about him.”

“Are you sure Hinami was the one worried and not you?” Hide joked, watching as Touka’s face started to turn red. “But to answer your questions, no it is not a trap and yes he is allowed out, but they still need to guard him when we go out. I think he doesn’t want to bring them into the shop though, so I had him wait by the window.”

They both looked over to see Kaneki glancing in the shop. Touka gave a small waved at him, which he returned before turning away once more.

“Well they better not try to do anything funny to him, or I’ll kill them.”

“Does that mean we have come to a point of the conversation where I can order the coffee?” Hide asked. He knew Touka was just being protective of the other, he understood that feeling very well, but if he took any longer Masanori might start thinking something’s up.

Touka sighed. “Yeah I’ll get your coffee.” She began to get to work behind the counter. “But seriously, they haven’t done anything to him, have they?”

“I wouldn’t say they’ve done nothing” Hide said, causing her head to sap up. “But it wasn’t that bad in reality. He only got a bit of food poisoning, compared to what they could do that really isn’t that bad.”

Touka turned back to the coffee, putting the grounds in the filter and beginning to pour water over them. “I guess you’re right about that… but what did they try to do, give him human food or something?”

“Bingo. They made up some lame reasoning about him being a half ghoul just to try something that they knew wouldn’t work.”

She scoffed. “That’s because they are a bunch of stupid pompous assholes.” She set two freshly brewed coffee cups on the counter. “Well, here is your coffee.”

“How much do I owe you?” Hide asked, reaching into his pocket to pull out his wallet.

“My idiot friend’s idiot boyfriend is trying to cheer him up because he is practically in jail by taking him on a coffee date. How could I make you pay when such a stupidly sweet scenario is playing out right before me?”

“Thanks Touka!” He said, turning to walk out of the shop. “I owe you one.”

“You bet you do.” She called back to him right before the bell on the door jingled, signaling that he had left the shop.

Hide walked over to Kaneki and handed him his coffee. “Here you go. Coffee for our coffee date.”

“Thank you Hide.” He said, taking the warm cup from the other. “So… what are we going to do now?”

“Well, what do you want to do?” Hide asked.

Kaneki couldn’t help but laugh. “You thought of this last minute didn’t you? With how eager you were to drag me out of the house I thought you had the day all planned out.”

The blond muttered something to himself, taking a sip of his coffee to hide his embarrassment.

“Why don’t we just walk around for a bit, maybe hit a few stores if anything looks good?” Kaneki said, moving to stand beside Hide. He took ahold of the others hand, lacing their fingers together.

It was nice just being able to walk around his old ward again. He had only been away from it for a few months, but it felt rather nostalgic. It was also nice just being able to walk about next to Hide. Hide has done so much for him in the past few months. Even before all of this Hide was there, from the moment the blond had come up and introduced himself he had become an irreparable existence in Kaneki’s life. That’s why even simple things like this made him incredibly happy.

A few hours later the two were walking around, trying to find a good place for Hide to eat. Since they were in the area Kaneki figured Big Girl would be an obvious choice, but Hide had refused the offer. After what happened the last time they were there, after Kaneki had gotten out of the hospital, eating there might be a bit awkward, so he suggested they find someplace else to have lunch. Kaneki didn’t really mind since he wouldn’t be eating anyways, but he felt kind of bad that Hide was thinking of things like that even now.

They were debating whether to go to a café or to just go back to the apartment so Hide could make whatever he wanted when a voice called out from behind them.

“Hide!” The two turned to see someone making their way through the crowd towards them. “Hey, Hide!” They had slightly long brown hair, and their overall attitude seemed rather over exuberant.

Hide seemed to recognize them. “Takizawa?”

The man, Takizawa, was dressed formally in a suit, and although he wasn’t carrying a briefcase Kaneki would say that he probably worked for the CCG.

“It been forever since I last saw you.” Takizawa said before finally taking notice of the other. “Oh, and who is this?”

Hide wrapped his arm around Kaneki and pulled him in close. “This is Kaneki! He’s been my best friend since like forever… though I guess he’s kind of my boyfriend now…” a light blush covered his face as he said the last part. This was the first time either of them have been introduced that way after all.

Takizawa held out his hand. “It’s nice to meet you then.”

Kaneki slightly hesitated before holding out his own hand. This guy may work for the CCG, but he didn’t seem to be a dove or even know exactly who he was.

“Also I’m sorry for intruding, I was just going to lunch when I saw Hide and it’s been a while since I’ve seen him, so I thought I’d say hello.”

He definitely didn’t know who Kaneki was; if he did he wouldn’t be apologizing like that. “It’s no problem really.” He turned to the blond. “Why don’t you get lunch and catch up with your friend. I’ll just go back to the apartment.”

“Are you sure Kaneki? Today was supposed to be just us.” Hide said with an apologetic look. He hardly gotten to know anybody at the CCG, so he didn’t really expect to run into someone he knew.

Kaneki smiled. “I’m pretty sure you’re the one that decided that when you dragged me out today, so it’s not like you’re ditching me or anything.” He then leaned up to Hide’s ear and whispered so that only he can hear. “And you can always make it up to me later…”

“Well why don’t you just come with us Kaneki.” Takizawa said. “I mean I don’t really mind; any friend of Hide’s is a friend of mine. Plus it sounds like Hide was looking forward to having lunch with you.”

Both of them jumped slightly in surprise when Takizawa spoke up. The guy obviously had no clue. “No, no. I shouldn’t, I’m not really that hungry anyways.” Kaneki said, shaking his head. He didn’t want anything to turn into a bigger misunderstanding than it already was, and even though this guy was probably just a paper-pusher he was still a dove, and Kaneki wanted to stay as far from them as he still could.

It took a moment for Hide to recover, but a wide grin covered his face and he lightly nudged the man next to him. “C’mon Kaneki. Even if you don’t eat you can keep me company. Please, pretty pretty please?”

After that was said both Hide and Takizawa wouldn’t take no for an answer, so that’s how Kaneki ended up sitting in a small booth at some local restaurant with Hide and some dove that he knew from work.

“Are you sure you don’t want to order anything Kaneki? It’s my treat since I’m interrupting your guy’s day and all; you don’t have to worry about the price or anything.” Takizawa said, putting down his menu.

“I’m fine with just the water.” He replied simply.

Hide on the other hand didn’t have any problem with ordering a few of the more expensive things on the menu; it seemed the boisterous attitude the blond has around Kaneki also applied to the more recent friends Hide has made as well.

Once their orders were taken Takizawa immediately spoke up, obviously excited to talk the blond about recent events. “So, Hide. I heard you got a special assignment.”

“Yeah?” Hide said, raising an eyebrow.

Takizawa nodded. “Rumor around the office is that the higher-ups have you staying with that ghoul First class Amon took down a few months ago.” His eyes held that twinkle of excitement that so often lingered in Hide’s eyes, eager to know whether there was any truth to this rumor.

Kaneki shrank back slightly in the seat. Of course this would be the first thing brought up. He felt Hide’s hand gently take hold of his under the table; giving him a small amount of comfort and to say that he understood how uncomfortable this probably was for the half ghoul.

Hide scratched his cheek and laughed lightly. “Yeah, it’s true. The CCG set up a place in the second ward that we’re currently staying in.”

“It must be so scary!” Takizawa said in surprise. “Wasn’t it of SS rank?! I don’t know how you would be able to stay with someone like that around. If it were me I would be too scared to go back to wherever they have you staying.”

Hide got the widest grin on his face and leaned across the table, acting as if he were whispering to Takizawa without actually lowering his voice. “You have no idea man. He is so not a morning person. He is so grumpy until he has had his coffee, you can hardly even speak to him. Oh, and get this! This guy won’t take instant coffee for an answer, and when you try to make it properly they complain that you didn’t get the flavor right and make all these weird faces while they drink it.”

“I do not Hide!” Kaneki was just going to sit in silence, to let the two gossip until a more comfortable topic was brought up, but of course Hide would find a way to make this all into some big joke, and he would not stay silent for that.

The blond turned back to Kaneki and nudged him slightly. “You so do. I mean yeah, you haven’t complained as much lately, but that was only after I stated taking lessons on how to make the coffee.”

Takizawa could only sit in stunned silence as he listened to the two across from him carry on their banter.

“But I do not make faces, you are making that up.” He huffed. “And I am not grumpy in the mornings.”

Hide laughed. “You so do make faces. And seriously Kaneki, even you have to admit you are a bit of a grump until I hand you your morning cup of coffee.”

“You don’t mean he’s the ghoul?!” Takizawa suddenly said in a not so hushed whisper. He couldn’t be. Takizawa had only just met the guy, but he seemed so timid and soft-spoken; nothing like what he had read about and imagined the vicious SS rated ghoul centipede would be like.

Kaneki visibly flinched back at the word ghoul, and Hide started to shush the stunned Takizawa. “Quiet, if people heard you Takizawa you would have caused a panic.”

“Well why is he even out here then?! Shouldn’t he be locked up; he’s dangerous!” There was panic visible in his voice and in his eyes.

Hide rolled his eyes. “Well obviously there are some precautions, we’re not just allowed to walk about without the proper guard or anything.”

“Then where is this guard?!”

Hide looked around quickly, spotting Masanori sitting at the end of the bar; still keeping his promise about giving them space. “He’s at the bar. Kaneki and I just wanted to be as alone as possible today so he kindly offered to stay back a bit.”

“But what if he goes wild and starts attacking people?!” Takizawa was obviously letting his fear take control and override any previous impressions he had about the other.

Hide shot a glare at the other. “He would never do something like that.” His voice had lost its usual cheerful tone; unhappy that somebody was so blatantly insulting his boyfriend like that. He then took a deep breath, trying to calm down and diffuse whatever this situation was turning into. “Look, before you learned just who Kaneki was I’m sure you didn’t think he was such a dangerous and scary person, did you? I mean you hardly know him after all.”

“Well… no. No I didn’t…” Takizawa said truthfully. Hide did have a point there, and he wouldn’t deny it, “But he’s still a ghoul isn’t he? How are you just fine with that?”

Hide just stared at Takizawa. “Like I said; I’ve known him since like forever, and it’s not like he was always a ghoul. I wouldn’t turn away from my best friend just because a bunch of bad things out of his control happened to him.” He turned to Kaneki who looked like he wanted to shrivel up and die from the way this conversation had been going and put an arm around him, hoping it would bring some comfort.

“Wait, what do you mean he wasn’t always a ghoul?” Takizawa asked.

“Didn’t you read the official report? Kaneki used to be human up until a few months ago.” Hide replied.

“I read a few things, but I haven’t read the official file…”

“Can we please stop talking like I’m not here?” Kaneki asked. “In fact can we just drop this conversation? I just wanted Hide to be able to eat lunch with a friend of his since I’m not really very helpful with that anymore.”

Neither of the others really expected Kaneki to speak up like that, so all they really had in response was a few murmured apologies.

Then, almost like their waiter had overheard the last bit of their conversation, their food arrived at the table. An uncomfortable silence hung over the table for a few minutes after, but it wasn’t long before Hide started up a more lighthearted conversation; one both Kaneki and Takizawa should hopefully be able to take part in without any sore subjects being brought up. It took a bit of coaxing for both of them, but soon the three were lightly chatting about simple things.

By then end of the meal they were all getting along rather nicely, or at least Takizawa was somebody Kaneki considered to be a bit closer and less put off with; he was a good guy. And Kaneki didn’t seem like all that bad a person to Takizawa.

After the meal was done and paid for the three said a few simple goodbyes before parting ways, Takizawa heading back to the office and Hide and Kaneki heading back to their apartment for some much needed rest and relaxation after all the ups and downs this day had ended up throwing at them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I might no have a chapter update next week because I will be busy attending Fanime and I may not have a chance to write. And for those of you who do not follow some of the mature content of this series, I regret to say that the next chapter I have planned is another porn filler chapter because I couldn't think of anything better. For those of you who do enjoy the mature content, Kaneki gets a sweet treat next chapter if you know what I mean ;D
> 
> Fun Fact: In my bullet point plot form, this chapter was labeled Coffee with Pineapple man.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't gone to bed yet, still technically Friday for me.... Ok the real reason this is sort of late is because I was too busy being a squid kid. Also thank you all for 500+ kudos!!
> 
> Anyways, short porn chapter. Can you tell I wasn't really feeling it by the end. I've actually got a bit of writers block for this fic and I have been wanting to write a bit of some other stuff, but that other stuff is the first chapter of part 3 of this series, so I just might as well push through this so I can get to writing that.

The sound of running water softly filled the apartment. The weather was beginning to get nicer and it was warmer out, which meant the journey to and from Kamii was starting to leave Hide in a gross sweaty mess by the end of it, and because of that it soon became a habit for him to take a shower after he got home.

It wasn’t long before the shower shut off and a now clean Hide walked out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. He walked out to the living room where Kaneki was lounging about like he normally did. Hide couldn’t understand how the other could do nothing for hours on end with only the words of a book for company, if it were him he would have died of boredom. But that was also one of the things he loved about Kaneki. He could get so into a story, and watching him read was something he had come to enjoy. Like how Kaneki would lean closer to the pages when something compelling was happening, or how he would sometimes jump back slightly in surprise; the expressions he made were always fun to watch for Hide.

Kaneki looked up from the book when he came in to view, his eyes raking up Hide’s mostly naked body. They settles for a few seconds on the towel round Hide’s waist before his stomach made an unmistakable gurgling sound. Kaneki immediately flushed a deep scarlet and tried to hide his face behind his hands, and Hide couldn’t help but to burst out laughing.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

Hide walked toward Kaneki. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of Kaneki, it’s 100% white meat; who wouldn’t love that.”

“Hide no.”

Hide began to try to pull Kaneki’s hands away from his face. “I mean it’s some Grade A beef right there.”

“Oh my god, no, Hide stop.” Kaneki struggled against the blond’s efforts. It was embarrassing enough his stomach actually growled, but now he had to deal with Hide’s jokes about it.

Hide’s movements slowed, and he gently lowered Kaneki’s hands away. “But seriously, Kaneki, are you alright or should we ask them about extra food? I know these two weeks have been hard on you, and I don’t want you starving yourself because of the mess they caused with your last meal.”

Kaneki shook his head. “I’m fine Hide… perhaps a bit hungrier than usual, but nothing I can’t handle until the end of the week.”

Hide stared at him for a moment as if trying to tell whether or not he was lying before finally saying. “Alright, but don’t be afraid to speak up if you need it.”

As if to punctuate the end of the topic Kaneki’s stomach gave another small gurgle. Hide just smiled and leaned in to give him a small kiss. “I’m glad we agree then.” He said as he pulled away to head back to the bathroom and change into his clothes.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Kaneki asked, pulling him back and into his lap. He brought his hands up to Hide’s head and gently pulled him back in for another kiss. He ran his tongue along hide’s lower lip, asking before sliding his tongue inside the other’s mouth. He loved everything about Hide’s mouth, how it tasted, how it felt when Hide fought back, twining his tongue around Kaneki’s own, how Hide would greedily swallow down any of the sounds he was involuntarily making. His hand in Hide’s hair tightened as the other began to fight back with him.

He felt Hide grin against his lips, “Told you you can’t resist my meaty goodness” he murmured before going back to the task at hand.

Kaneki was about to retort with a snappy comeback when his stomach gave another growl. And that was when Hide completely lost it.

“Hide! Hide stop laughing! It’s not funny.” Kaneki said at the other, completely flushed a deep red from the embarrassment he was feeling.

Hide was clutching his stomach from laughing so hard. “It’s not my fault your stomach has perfect comedic timing.”

Slowly his laughter subsided and he looked up to face Kaneki again. “But you know, Kaneki, there is one thing we could do to take that edge off your hunger.”

“I’m not going to hurt you Hide.” Kaneki said back. Even if it was something small, he didn’t want to run the risk of hurting Hide.

“That’s not what I meant.” Hide said back. He leaned in and began to pepper small kisses across Kaneki’s jaw.

 _Oh…Oh! That’s what Hide meant_. He tilted his head to the side, letting Hide have better access to his neck. One of his hands found its way back into the other’s hair, tugging slightly as they continued to mouth over every expanse of Kaneki’s skin that he could.

Kaneki could feel his body already starting to grow hot as Hide began to lightly grind against him. “So what do you say Kaneki?”

“Yes.” He hissed out. Just the thought of tasting Hide was enough to make his mouth water in anticipation. “Please, Hide.”

With one last kiss to his neck, they switched positions. Hide got up and off Kaneki, taking a seat on the couch next to him and Kaneki moved over so that he was now straddling Hide’s hips.

Right now he was just glad about Hide’s lack of clothes, it made it easy to start from his neck, peppering light kisses there and down his chest, stopping only to suck at one of his nipples. He rolled his tongue over the hardening bud, lightly nipping at it to gain a gasp from the other. From there he continued his way down, getting off of Hide’s lap and kneeling on the floor in front of him.

“Looks like someone is already excited.” Kaneki said as he eyed the not so subtle tent in the towel Hide had around his waist.

Hide’s breath hitched as he watched Kaneki slid off the towel and saw how his eyes dilated as he drank in the sight of his half hard dick.  “I can’t help it when you’re looking at me like that. Plus aren’t you the one that seems a little over eager right now?”

Kaneki looked up at him like a deer in headlights. This had actually been something he has wanted to do with Hide for a while now, but he could never work up the courage to actually tell him; it was way too embarrassing. Then his surprised expression melted into a sly smile, “I just can’t help it Hide…” He said, wrapping his hand around the other’s shaft and slowly stoking it. “You even said it yourself; I can’t resist you.” He felt Hide twitch in his hand at that comment.

Kaneki leaned in and ran his tongue up the length of Hide’s dick before taking the tip into his mouth. He pumped what he didn’t have in his mouth with on his hands, the other moving to Hide’s hips. He could feel Hide hardening under his ministrations as he circled his tongue around the tip and lightly sucked.

He ran his tongue along the slit, lapping up the single bead of precome that had gathered there and Kaneki couldn’t help but moan at the small taste. It was salty, but something about it just tasted so good.  He took more of Hide into his mouth and began to slowly bob his head up and down, working his tongue along the sensitive back of Hide’s dick as he did.

Hide gasped and threaded his hands into Kaneki’s hair, he lightly grasped the soft white locks, needing something to hold on to. Kaneki’s mouth was so warm and the light suction accompanied by the tongue was quickly working him up.

Kaneki felt more precome starting to steadily leak from Hide. He gathered up what had once more gathered at the tip, savoring it on his tongue before pulling off of Hide with a light pop.  “I think this is the most quiet you’ve ever been Hide, you must really be liking this.” He said, rubbing the tip of Hide’s dick against his cheek.

He didn’t wait for Hide to reply before taking him back into his mouth. Kaneki was ashamed to admit it, but he couldn’t get enough of the way Hide tasted. His pants had grown to be uncomfortably tight. He took more and more of Hide in with every bob of his head until his gag reflex threatened to act up.

Hide’s hips shook in his grasp, wanting so badly to cant forward and get more of that delicious heat, but Kaneki’s hand firmly held him in place. The hands that where in his hair tightened their grip as they tried their best not to force Kaneki forward onto his cock.

“Kah–Kaneki.” He moan, tipping his back and letting his eyes slide shut.

Kaneki shifted, higher onto his knees. Precome was steadily flowing from Hide’s tip, but he wanted more. Kaneki wanted to feel Hide hitting the back of his throat before he came.

He took a deep breath before slowly trying to lower himself further onto Hide’s cock, doing his best to relax his throat. He immediately had to pull back off, it felt like he was going to choke. He coughed a few times, trying to get his breathing back under control.

Hide lifted his head, looking at Kaneki in concern. “You alright? You don’t have to do something like that if you don’t want to.”

“No, no. I’m fine.” He said. “I um, I just wanted to try it.” He admitted, looking up at Hide sheepishly.  

“Just don’t push yourself, ok?” He asked.

Kaneki nodded, once again going back to the task at hand. He tried once more to relax his throat, this time knowing what to expect. He worked himself up and down Hide slowly. He moaned around the other. Every time he pressed forward he could feel the tip of hide’s cock hit the back of his throat, and when he pulled back he got the taste of the precome he liked so much.

He glanced up at Hide to find him staring down at where Kaneki’s mouth was swallowing him up. Hide licked his lips, enticed and intensely aroused at the sight before him.

Kaneki went back to work, bobbing his head slightly faster, eliciting a long moan from the other. “I don’t know h– ah… How much longer I can.” Hide said, biting his lower lip.

It only took a few more bobs of his head before Hide set out a strangled whine and Kaneki felt stickiness hit the back of his throat. It was even better than he imagined and he eagerly swallowed down everything Hide had to offer, lightly sucking as he pulled off to ensure he got all of it.

Hide slumped against the back of the couch, trying to catch his breath. He looked down at Kaneki before he lightly tugged Kaneki’s arm so that he would stand up, directing him to sit in his lap.

“That was great and all, but I shouldn’t be the only one who gets to feel good.” He mumbled, moving his hand down to unzip Kaneki’s pants. He lightly palmed Kaneki through the front of his boxers where a rather large wet spot had formed.

“You really did enjoy that, didn’t you?” He asked, lightly squeezing the tip.

All Kaneki could do was moan in response. He was so aroused from their earlier endeavor that it wouldn’t take him very long to finish.

Hide slid his hand under the waistband, pulling Kaneki’s boxers down and freeing his painfully hard dick. The tip was flushed a needy red, and it was steadily leaking. Hide would probably tease him for being so turned on just from blowing him, but he was currently still coming down from his own high.

Kaneki gasped when Hide started to stroke him in earnest. He looped his arms around the other, lightly raking his nails down Hide’s back. “Ah~ Hide.” His hips canted forward, trying to get as much friction as they could. Kaneki mewled and moaned as Hide continued to stroke him at an increasing pace.

It wasn’t long before Kaneki arched up into him with a long moan, spilling himself over Hide’s hand.

He rested his head against Hide’s shoulder, lightly panting.

“Kaneki.” Hide’s voice brought him out of his daze, and he pulled away to see Hide lifting his cum covered hand towards him. He didn’t have to say anything else. Kaneki reached out, pulling his hand closer as he brought the other’s fingers into his mouth, swirling his tongue around them to make sure they would get clean.

Once he was sure he got everything he pulled off of Hide’s fingers, a thin string of saliva still connecting them. “Thank you for the meal.” Was all that he said.

“You feeling better now?” The blond asked.

The edge to his hunger seemed to have faded, and at the very least Kaneki’s stomach seemed to have stopped rumbling. “Yeah, I am.”

“Good.”

The two sit there for a few moments, before Hide spoke up again. “You know… I think I need another shower.” They were both covered in a light sheen of sweat, and even though Kaneki had thoroughly cleaned it Hide still wanted to wash his hands at least. “What do you say we go take one?” He asked.

Kaneki contemplated for a moment, before nodding. “Yeah, that sounds good.” He said, getting off Hide and helping him up off the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fanime was fun, but there was a definite lack of Hide stuff :T I wanted sunflower child merch and all I got was one doujin, not even a print or a keychain *sobs*


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter ahead. I'm so sorry I didnt hit my usual limit I set for myself. This weekend is the weekend of the big dance recital I take part in every year, and during practice the other day one of the girls tripped during ballet and broke her collar bone. Now all the numbers she was in are having to be rearranged so there isnt a giant hole in any of them.

Hide didn’t leave the house like he usually did. “Are you sure there is nothing off about it?” He asked for about the millionth time.

“Hide, it will be fine this time.” Kaneki said to him for what was also probably the millionth time. “I don’t think they would want to make me sick again so soon after the last time.”

The blond crossed his arms over his chest. “Fine, but if anything seems wrong don’t be afraid to say anything.”

If only it were that simple. “Even if there is something extra to it there isn’t much we can do if they refuse to give me any other food. You may not see it this way, but to them I’m still prisoner and this is an experiment.”

The cruel reality was that all this that he and Hide had together could be over in an instant if the CCG wished it and there wasn’t a thing they could do about it. He found himself having to remind himself of this more and more often. The should be considering themselves lucky that so far the CCG has only tried to slip things into his food, or at least that was the only thing to have caught their attention.

Hide pouted. “But at least tell me if something doesn’t feel right, ok? I don’t want you suddenly collapsing and me not knowing what’s wrong or what to do just because of your stubbornness to comply with all of this.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll tell you.” The half ghoul said, pushing his doting lover out of the kitchen. “But if you wouldn’t mind, would you leave this room for at least a small while so I can actually eat my meal?” He led the blond all the way to the room they shared.

Right before Kaneki closed the door, Hide stopped him. “Hey Kaneki, you forgot something.” Kaneki look at him in confusion as he leaned in and gave the other a small peck on the nose followed by a blinding smile. “There, now you can go eat in peace.”

Once Kaneki was back at the kitchen, he took a seat at the small counter that separated it from the living room and sighed. He was telling the truth when he said nothing seemed off with the meal, but he just had this feeling that the CCG was going to be coming in guns blazing now that he and Hide seemed pretty settled down and it was highly likely this meal had something mixed in with it as well. He took a bite, letting the clean taste wash over him; the horrible aftertaste that the last meal had nowhere to be found, but he still couldn’t help but to feel there was something off with it. He ate as fast as he could, not wanting to think about what it was or how good it tasted every time he ate it.

Hide only came out of hiding once he heard the sink running. He walked up behind Kaneki, sliding his arms around his slim waist and rocking them back and forth slightly as the other methodically cleaned the container that used to hold whatever that gross stuff that the CCG gave him was.

Like seriously what was that gross slurpee slurry stuff? As weird as it sounds Hide would much prefer to know Kaneki was eating identifiable meat packages than some unknown sludge; even if the meat was human.

He opened his mouth to ask if everything was still alright, even if he had asked so many times beforehand, but Kaneki beat him to it.

“Yes Hide, it was fine.” He set the dish down in the drainer. “So…” He said, spinning around to face Hide. “What do you say to watching a movie, since you ended up staying at the house today and all.”

Soon they were both cuddled up on the couch, wrapped in some blankets they have pulled out of the bedrooms. Kaneki leaned his head against Hide’s shoulder trying his best to wind down and relax from stressing himself out about the food. It did taste fine after all, perhaps there really was nothing wrong with it.

About halfway through the movie Kaneki found his eyes drooping. It was warm, and cozy, and comfortable next to Hide and before he realized it he was nodding off to sleep. It was a deep and empty sleep, different from the warm and peaceful ones he had when falling asleep next to Hide; but at least there weren’t any twisted visions or cruel whispers to taunt him. It was just… empty.

He didn’t know how long he floated in and out of this peaceful nothingness. Every once in a while he thought he heard Hide’s voice. Sometimes it sounded like he was on the phone, and other times like he was talking to Kaneki, but he couldn’t make out any of the words. Other times he felt like he could feel somebody holding him, gently stroking his hair accompanied by soft murmurs, but once again he couldn’t really be certain.

Finally after what felt like a short eternity he was conscious enough to flutter his eyes open. He was in their bedroom, and Hide was pacing back and forth, furiously biting the nail of his thumb. He glanced over at Kaneki, and when he saw the other’s eyes were finally open relief washed across his face.

“Kaneki! You’re alright!” He rushed over to be beside him. “I thought I told you to tell me if something felt wrong, you really worried me man!”

Kaneki smiled at him, glad that there was at least one person to fuss over him like this. “I’m fine Hide, really…” He yawned. “I as just sort of sleepy is all, I didn’t mean to scare you like that.”

“Just a little sleepy?” The blond scoffed. “You were asleep for like an entire day Kaneki! How is that just a little sleepy?”

Kaneki could only shrug. He sat up in the bed and swung his legs over the side. “I feel fine, really.” He gave the other a small smile. “Hide, if I wasn’t fine I really would tell you.” He cupped his hands around Hide’s cheeks, then leaned forward so their foreheads were touching. “I love you, I don’t want to make you worry like that.”

Kaneki got up off the bed. “Perhaps this was just some sort of anesthetic?” He proposed. “I mean nothing feels wrong, and I just slept for a bit, so perhaps they were trying to figure out something they could use to sedate ghouls.” He took a step forward but stumbled. Luckily Hide was there to catch him, but he was giving Kaneki a look that said he didn’t believe that he was telling the truth.

“Are you one hundred percent positively sure you’re ok Kaneki?”

“Yes, I am, and this may sound dumb, but could you please help me out to the kitchen?” He looked up at Hide. “My legs fell asleep from sleeping too long.”

Hide grinned at him from over the counter. “Need me to carry you anywhere else, princess?”

Kaneki picked up his fresh mug of coffee in attempts to hide his face. “No, I’m fine for now.”

“I can’t believe such a dumb thing happened to you Kaneki, usually you’re so careful about these sort of things.” Hide sniggered.

Kaneki set the mug down. “Well at least I don’t end up in the hospital twice a year for silly reasons like parkour or ‘I wanted to see how much I can lift.’“

Hide wanted to make a remark about how ‘no, you only end up in the hospital once because your date ended up being a ghoul, and now you’re a half ghoul and you spent 6 months on the run like some superhero vigilante.’ But that probably wouldn’t have gone over so well, so instead he went for the simple one. “Hey, just because you don’t even lift doesn’t mean you get to patronize me for it.”

He only rolled his eyes at the blond.

Hide just grinned at him. “C’mon Kaneki, do you? Do you even lift?”  He walked over to the white haired man, getting all up in his face. “Do ya? Hmmm, do ya?”

Kaneki sighed and took one last drink before setting the mug on the counter. Then he got up and wrapped his arms around Hide, lifting the blond into the air. “I lift way more than you, that’s for sure.” He carried him over to the couch before setting him down and plopping himself down right beside him.

“So…” He made himself comfortable by Hide’s side. “This is where we left off, right?”

“I believe it is, and if we are doing this I think another movie is in order, although I’ll be the one picking it this time.” He got up once again and to go set everything up. “And I think some popcorn is in order for me…” It took him a few minutes, but once everything was finished and prepped Hide sat himself down on the couch next to Kaneki.

He felt Hide stretch, draping an arm behind his head like guys do to girls at the movies, so he in turn leaned his head against Hide’s shoulder.

When things were like this, it really was too easy for him to forget about this being an experiment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will have what at least 2 of you have been waiting for, Masanori's thoughts about Kaneki and everything that had been happening and stuff.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another short chapter, or at least for now. I might go back and add some more stuff later in the week. Some of you have asked for something like this, but since Masanori isnt a completely fleshed out OC it is very difficult in some ways to write for him. Also I stayed up for 24 hours yesterday binge watching shit on netflix with my friends, and then i went to the movies with one of them to see some nice CG dinosaurs today, so im kind of dead, running on fumes, and have a massive movie popcorn headache right now which isnt helping me write. I wanted to at least post something though, so here you go.
> 
> EDIT: There is now more to this chapter under a cut

When he first got his new assignment, Masanori didn’t understand why. Why would the CCG knowingly let a ghoul live? Why would they let him live in an apartment? Why did they have to assign a team to watch him for every hour of the day? If this ghoul, if SS rated centipede was so dangerous, why didn’t they just kill him?! He was a ghoul investigator, not some kind of baby sitter! He was meant to be killing these cruel and vile creatures, not watch them live a lofty life with their lover! How did a ghoul even get a human lover anyways? There must be something wrong with them if they fell for some kind of monster.

But what was most definitely the worst part of this new assignment was that the damn ghoul was in heat and he had to hear them fucking almost every single waking hour for a week straight.

It was downright insulting that an investigator of his caliber was stuck on this job.

His only solace was that when the ghoul regained himself he would attack the human like the monster he is, and Masanori would finally be able to put it down.

But, that wasn’t what happened…

He watched on the screen the first day after the ghoul woke up, that the two seemed to be avoiding each other; unsure of how to present themselves after the events that had taken place.

The day after that the blond begged him to let them go to a bookstore, and he wanted to take the ghoul with him. He was very persistent and eventually Masanori conceded to the idea. If they went out, the ghoul would take the opportunity to escape and he could hunt it down and kill it for running away.

But, that wasn’t what happened…

The ghoul was timid and nervous about being around so many investigators who were all out to get him, but he never made a break for it even once. In fact he seemed to be overjoyed to be going to a bookstore of all places.

In fact the ghoul almost never acted like they expected. He would mostly spend his time reading, only stopping to make himself more coffee or to pay attention to something the Nagachika boy wanted to show him. The only time he ever fit the image the investigators had of him was during sleep. The ghoul seemed to be plagued by what could only be nightmares of his past misdeeds.

But those too stopped one day when Nagachika slipped into his room to calm him down.

This ghoul wasn’t acting at all like he expected it to. It seemed to enjoy the presence of the blond more than anything. It was because of this that things started to get awkward for him again, having to watch the video feeds. Though, he would admit his eyes lingered longer on the screens than they probably should have on more than one occasion.

When the orders came in about the tracking bracelet he couldn’t understand why a ghoul with such a high rating would willingly shackle himself just so he could be dragged out on a coffee date. But this was the ghoul who was far more attentive and saved the life of the blond human when he and his squad has their backs turned during the bracelet’s test.

He didn’t know what to think anymore. This ghoul had essentially blown all his thoughts and expectations of it out of the water, and now here they were, sitting in a small coffee shop trying to pass the time while Nagachika was at school.

This had been the first time the ghoul had knocked on the door and asked to go somewhere. Apparently Nagachika would be attending hiss college classes for the majority of the day and figured this would be a good way to kill some time. He sat across from Masanori, engrossed in another one of those morbid books he always seemed to be reading, leisurely sipping at the black coffee he had ordered. Every once in a while the ghoul’s eyes would flick up to check on what he was doing before returning to the page. After about half an hour of this he couldn’t take it anymore. “Is there something else you want?” Masanori asked the ghoul.

“Ah, no…” Kaneki said, gently lowering the book to look at the investigator.

“You keep glancing up at me.”

Kaneki stammered, trying to find an answer. “I, uhm– It’s just that you don’t seem to be enjoying this very much. If you really don’t want to be here we could head back. I just thought that getting out would be nicer than staying inside like usual.” Though this wasn’t against the rules set out for him and though they had thanked him that one time, Kaneki knew the investigators still didn’t like him. It was obvious Masanori didn’t want to be here with him.

“No…” Masanori said. “It’s fine, I’m just thinking is all.”

Kaneki lowered his eyes, staring into his almost empty coffee cup. “Do you want me to order you something then?” The investigator had just stuck with water, but if he was willing to stay longer he might want something a bit more appealing to drink.

“Sure.” Masanori waved his hand dejectedly at the ghoul. “Just get me whatever.” He said, turning his gaze out the window as Kaneki tried to flag down one of the staff.

The ghoul was concerned, or at the very least valued his opinion, on whether or not they should stay here. Why would he willingly go back, the ghoul is the one with restriction on going outside; just because he might not necessarily be enjoying this shouldn’t matter to the ghoul. So why would he ask his opinion.

He just didn’t understand.

* * *

 

With their bill finally paid, the two got up from the table and headed out of the small coffee shop. Just like how the walk over had been, there was complete silence. How would one start a conversation when you were ghoul and investigator after all? The only sound was the steady beat of their footsteps against the pavement as they headed back to the house.

Then out of the silence, “Hey…” The white haired ghoul spoke. Masanori turned his head, wondering what it could be now. “Do you mind if we stop at the grocery store quickly? I want to pick up a few things.”

All that he could think of is what purpose this would serve. The ghoul couldn’t eat anything that could be bought there. Well… there was coffee, but this one insisted on having high quality roasts; nothing you would find in a simple store. So why would he want to go?

“Hide thinks he can survive off instant noodles, but it isn’t that good for him.” The ghoul chuckled, as if he found this bad habit Nagachika had endearing. “So I figured since we were out I could pick up a few things; that way he’s be forced to eat something better.” They turned a corner, heading into a small shop to buy what was needed.

Masanori watched as the ghoul looked over the selection of vegetables the store had to offer, picking something out every once in a while. He was impressed by the selection choices the ghoul was making; he only seemed to pick out the best of what he could find. Masanori would have expected him to have just picked out anything since he wouldn’t be eating it after all.

From there he moved on to the meats, picking up package and comparing them to one another. It has been such a long time since the last time he had to buy meat from a store and he wasn’t sure which one he should choose. In the past he had usually gone with the cheapest of the meat he could find, but now that the CCG was paying for some expensive he could afford the more expensive meat for Hide’s meal. The only thing was expensive did not always mean better, and since he was a bit out of touch with picking out what was good he was a bit stumped as to which he should buy.

Masanori glanced over at the ghoul, noticing his confused expression. He walked over and picked one of the packages out of the other’s hand. “You should get this one.” Was all he said before putting it in the small handbasket and returning to his former position.

Kaneki stared at the investigator, surprised that he had even bothered to help him out with his little dilemma. “Thanks…”

Masanori found the fact that the ghoul was thinking of the human’s health a very noble quality; not that he would ever admit that or say it aloud. He was still a ghoul after all, even if his thoughts and action were baffling to say the least.

Soon they were all checked out and heading back to the apartment, their walk once again accompanied by a cold silence.

When the door to the apartment was insight, a familiar head of blond hair was by the door, digging into his pockets to try to find the keys. Kaneki immediately picked up the pace, a smile on his lips. “Hide!” He called out to the other.

The man turned to see the ghoul and the investigator heading towards him. “Oh! Kaneki, Masanori, what’s up?” He waved at them.

Masanori decided to stay silent, letting those two carry out the conversation.

“Masanori let me go out to a café for some coffee today.” Kaneki said. “Just to change things up, you know.”

Hide nodded. “I see… then what’s with the bags?”

“Since we were out I decided to get you some real food.” Kaneki had a look of determination on his face. “So I’ll cook tonight.”

Hide took one of the bags from Kaneki. “Will you now?” A smirk played across his face “It better not taste like crap.” He repeated the words Kaneki used to say all the time about his coffee making skills.

Kaneki flushed slightly red in embarrassment. “Shut up!” He said as he opened the door. “Just because I haven’t had to cook in a few months doesn’t mean I’ve lost the ability to.”

Masanori watched the two continue their banter as they walked into their home. After the door closed he sighed. Today had been unusually tiring; spending time with the ghoul usually was. He opened the door to his own apartment, greeted by the wall monitors he was being paid to watch. It was so much easier just to watch the ghoul from behind a screen; that way he didn’t have to think too hard about all that he didn’t understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah, more to probably come something later.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are nearing the end of this fic, and with only a few chapters left the chapters may get a bit shorter because there is not much left to say and its ending on 21 for a particular reason... well a particular reason for all you manga readers out there.
> 
> UPDATE: I added more to the last chapter in case some of you didn't notice, so I'm saying it again now. Like I wish I could tell my fic when its been updated so that it can go back to the top of the queue in the archive. It would make things so much simpler sometimes.

It was kind of therapeutic in a way, cooking regular food for Hide. Being as perceptive as he is Kaneki figured he must have noticed that because now Hide was bringing home ingredients to cook more often and his beloved stock of instant noodles and such slowly started to dwindle. It wasn’t like Hide was forcing him to cook, it was just something he found he enjoyed. Sure it was a bit more difficult than he remembered and sometimes he needed a bit of help, letting Hide taste test the spices and such to make sure he didn’t get anything out of balance, but it was still nice and it gave him a sense of normality that he hadn’t had for over half a year now.

“Hmmm… It needs a bit more salt.” The blond said.

It was always the salt. He never wanted to add too much. Though it was difficult for him to remember what these meals tasted like anymore, Kaneki still remembered that dishes that were too salty tasted horrible, so he usually ended up having to add more after Hide’s taste tests.

He was always eager to hear what Hide would have to say after taking that first bite. The first few times he had cooked for the other he thought that Hide might by lying, saying that the dish tasted good when it actually had something wrong with it, but the other had reassured him that he would say if something was off; so now he knew that Hide was being honest every time he smiled and said that it tasted wonderful.

Kaneki would usually join the other for his meals, having just some coffee or some water for himself as they talked about the day’s events or other silly things to pass the time.

“So then Nishiki just shows up out of nowhere and kicks the guy!” Hide excitedly says, telling Kaneki of something that happened one day during a committee meeting.

“That sounds like something he would do.” Kaneki said back with an amused grin on his face.

Another thing that became normal was for Hide to thank him for the meal after he was done eating. He would lightly kiss Kaneki on the lips, and in turn Kaneki would tell him that it tasted bad and he should seriously brush his teeth or something before he kissed him, but Hide would just laugh like it was the most amusing thing in the world and say how nothing Kaneki made could ever taste bad.

Everything just seemed to be going really well for Kaneki. He was a bit worried after Hide had told him he had slept for almost an entire day, but no side effects or strange things have happened to him since the last meal; he felt positively normal and that really meant a lot to him.

These past few months with Hide, living here with him, have really helped him out. Kaneki hated to admit it, but before his sunshine found a way back into his normal life, he wasn’t doing so well. But now that he had Hide to work things out with him he felt better. Better about being a ghoul now, and even better about just being himself.

After finishing his dinnertime coffee he would join Hide on the couch for some downtime and cuddles.

He leaned into the blond’s chest, letting out a content sigh. “I love you Hide.” He would say, and the other would always reply by wrapping his arms around him and saying “I love you too.” Back to him.

 

* * *

 

Perhaps he was just being paranoid, but there was something bothering him about some things that have been happening recently; he just couldn’t help but to think something was wrong. It all started on day when Kaneki was tearing apart the living room looking for a misplaced book.

“Are you absolutely sure you didn’t move it somewhere Hide?” He asked for about the hundredth time.

“Yes, I’m sure I didn’t touch it.” The blond replied. “What book is it that you are looking for? Perhaps if I knew the title I could help you search for it.”

It was the title of one of their most recent purchases, one of those weird morbid stories that Hide never had any interest in, but the name was familiar and it sparked something in his memories. “Wasn’t that the book you were reading before bed last night?” He asked. “It should be on top of the dresser.”

Kaneki went off to check if the book really was where Hide said, and Hide couldn’t help but feel worried for some reason. It wasn’t that long ago, and it’s not like Kaneki reading in bed was a new thing; he should have remembered where he last placed that book.

And it’s not like a misplaced book was the only thing worrying Hide. Since then there had been other misplaced items, and sometimes Kaneki would get confused on what day of the week it was. But that was all normal Hide kept telling himself. Kaneki practically lived in the apartment day in and day out, anyone would get confused on the date if they hardly left home.

But no matter how many times he told himself everything was fine and he was just being overly worried he couldn’t shake the feeling that something dreadful was going to happen.

He tried to distract himself from these feelings. One of the ways he did this was by getting Kaneki to cook for him. Ever since that first day Kaneki brought back food to make for Hide after he got home with Masanori, having a home cooked meal became part of their regular routine.

He noticed that day how much Kaneki seemed to enjoy cooking. Hide figured that even if he wasn’t able to eat the meal he made, simply being able to make it made him feel more connected to better times. More human times.

Of course Hide did help somewhat. He was the official taste tester of the meals, making sure all the spices and flavorings where in a good balance since the cook was unable to do so.

But after a while even this distraction couldn’t help the feeling of something being amiss. Every once in a while it seemed that Kaneki would completely forget to add something to the dish, only remembering after Hide mentions it. Or sometimes he would forget that they ran out of a particular seasoning and they would have to quickly run to the store before dinner.

Even so Hide kept telling himself that things were ok. Kaneki said he felt fine, he would say if something felt off, and Hide should trust Kaneki to tell him if something was off.

Perhaps he really was just being paranoid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys get what I'm getting at here ;)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These kinds of chapters always take me twice as long to write. Everything sounds so lame when your writing it instead of reading it. It's just like ???????
> 
> So, NSFW chapter again. Who is up for sentimental morning sex? You guys are owed at least that much considering what the last few chapters are going to be.

Early morning sunlight streamed through the curtains of the bedroom, causing the male closet to the window to groan and turn over. It was too early to get up. Hide was the resident morning person, and even he was still in bed. Though, judging by the way the blond hugged him tighter and buried his face in the crook of his neck with a "Five more minutes." he wouldn’t be asleep for much longer.

“Good morning Hide” Kaneki sleepily said, only to get a muffled reply of “G’morning” from the other.

Hide pulled away slightly with a yawn so that he could look at Kaneki and said. "I was having such a good dream until you went and woke me up you know.”

"Were you? I'm so sorry to have deprived you from it then."

Hide smiled and swooped down to give Kaneki a small kiss on the lips. "Yeah, and you were there. You were telling me how hot I am, and that your love for me rivals the great romances of all those foreign novels you read, and a bunch of other stuff like that."

"Oh yeah?" Kaneki reached up and gently pulled Hide's head down for another kiss.

"Yeah, the dream was just getting good when you had to roll over and wake me up."

"And what was going to be so good about it?"

"Well, you were saying how much you loved me, and that you didn't want to just say how much but that you also wanted to show me how much you love me."

"And how was I going to do that?" Kaneki asked bringing him down for yet another kiss.

Hide smiled against the other's lips "Well I don't know, you woke me up." and he laughed lightly. "What would you have done?"

Kaneki hummed, threading his hands up through Hide's hair "I wonder..." and he pressed down lightly, deepening the kiss between them. Unlike the fast, needy kisses they usually shared during these times, this was slow and sensual; simply enjoying each other and the way Hide's lips felt against his own.

The blond shifted, positioning himself above Kaneki so that he could look down and see all those cute expressions he makes. He didn't know how long it had been, but he broke away from their kiss breathless and flushed a light pink. "I love you so much Kaneki."

"I love you too" Kaneki sleepily smiled up at Hide "Now get back down here so I can show you how much I love you." He pulled the blond down once again, gladly opening his mouth when Hide ran his tongue against his lower lip. God he loved the taste of Hide, and he loved how playful Hide could be this early in the morning.

The blond lightly nipped at Kaneki's lower lip before moving down and peppering small kisses down his jaw.

"Hide" Kaneki whined, his grip in the other's hair tightening slightly "I'm supposed to be the one pampering you, like in your dream." The end of his sentence was punctuated with a gasp as Hide began to lightly suck at his neck.

He sucked hard on one spot in particular, making sure to leave a deep red mark that would take a while to fade, even with regeneration abilities. "I can't help it. You just look so cute, with that bed head of yours, and the constant blush you have when you look up at me, and the way you gasp my name whenever I do this." He went back to work, marking Kaneki's neck as he moved on down to his chest. He ran his tongue over one of Kaneki's nipples, and just as he said,  he heard the other gasp his name and arch up into him.

"Ah–! Hide." His hand move down to claw at his lovers back.

Hide wrapped his lips around the quickly hardening bud, circling his tongue around it and gently rolling it inbetween his teeth. As nice as it sounded, letting Kaneki please him first thing in the morning, he would much rather see Kaneki come undone and turn into a moaning mess by his own hands. And speaking of hand, he raked them down Kaneki's sides, dipping them below the hem of his boxers. He rubbed small circles with his thumbs on Kaneki's hips. "Kaneki" he breathed out. There was so much he wanted to say to the other, but he was unable to put it all into words.

"Hide, please." Kaneki bucked his hips up. "Please don't tease right now." It was far too early in the morning to deal with teasing. He wrapped his arms around Hide's neck and gave him the best pleading look he could. "I just want you right now Hide."

How could Hide refuse when he was asked so nicely? He broke away from Kaneki's chest, and gave him one last kiss on the cheek. "Alright" He got off the bed and padded over to the dresser, grabbing the bottle of lube they kept over there.

Kaneki shimmied out of his boxers while the other went off to get their supplies, freeing his already half hard erection from its confines.

Hide took his boxers off as he walked, nearly tripping over them before hopping back on the bed. "So, how do we want to do this? Do you want to... Or do you want me to..."

Kaneki laughed to himself. He loved how Hide would always make sure he was comfortable with whatever they were doing, even when he was the one that initiated it. He sat up and reached out, coaxing the blond forward. "I said I wanted you, didn't I?" He led Hide until he was looming over him again. "I want to feel you inside me," Then he began to run his hands down his own body; presenting himself, "filling me up," his breath hitched when he ran over the sensitive skin where Hide had been previously sucking on his chest, "slowly thrusting into me" he watched the blond's eyes dilate as his hands traveled lower, brushing past the base of his erection and causing him to let out a small moan, "until I– ah! Until I'm begging you for more..." He had more to say, but suddenly Hide was on him yet again and he heard the sound of a cap being flicked open.

For someone who mostly kept to books and himself Kaneki could be so hot sometimes. Like the way he would lick his lips with want as he described his own fantasies, or the way his dick twitched with every hitch of his breath. He wanted to see Kaneki pleasure himself as he described everything he wanted Hide to do to him, but Kaneki had asked for him and right now he wasn’t in a place to deny him, not when he too so desperately wanted this. He flicked the cap to the bottle open, pouring a generous amount of lube onto his fingers. He rubbed circles around Kaneki’s entrance before slowly pressing into him.

Kaneki arched against the finger, trying to get it in faster. “Please Hide, I want  _you._ ” He emphasized the last word.

“I know.” Once it was all the way in he began to lightly thrust it in and out, curling, stretching him out. “But I don’t want to hurt you.” After a few more thrusts he began to work in another finger. A small whine escaped him when Hide hit that perfect spot, and Hide made sure to keep hitting and rubbing against it, getting the most beautiful sounds to leave Kaneki’s lips. “Almost there.” He said, working in a third finger and continuing to stretch Kaneki.

Hide’s fingers kept brushing against that one spot, but it still wasn’t enough. “Hide please, I’ll be fine. Just  _fuck me_  already.”

How could he refuse when Kaneki kept asking? He had been achingly hard for a while now, and hearing Kaneki talk like that was not helping. He pulled out his finger, eliciting another needy whine from Kaneki. He opened the bottle once again and coating himself thoroughly, his own breath hitching at his first bit of stimulation. Hide lined himself up with Kaneki before slowly starting to push in.

Kaneki rolled his hips back to meet the other, trying to get him to go faster. He curled his fists into the sheets, wanting something to hold onto. Once Hide was all the way inside him, he let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. “Fuck.” He loved the full feeling that the other gave him.

Another thing Hide found hot about Kaneki that he probably shouldn’t is how Kaneki’s left eye turned as he pressed into him, the lovely grey being replaced by stunning black and red. He paused, letting the other adjust before giving a small thrust. “You good to go?” He asked, just to make sure since the prep work this time wasn’t as thorough as the usual.

Kaneki nodded and wrapped his legs around the other. He couldn't help the small whine that left him as Hide pulled almost all the way out, but when he thrust back in, the whine was turned into a long moan. Kaneki's toes curled and his grip on the sheets tightened as Hide began to fuck him deep and hard. “Haa– Hide~!”

Hide brought one of his hands up to gently stroke underneath Kaneki's left eye, following the veins that intricately spread out, and causing the other to squeeze his eyes closed once he realized what Hide was doing. "C'mon Kaneki," He said, slowly bringing his thumb down to trace upon the other's lips. "look at me, please?" He gradually started to slow his pace until Kaneki finally opened his eyes again. The blond couldn't help the smile that spread across his face as he looked down into those mismatched eyes. 

"What's that smile for?" Kaneki asked, slightly annoyed that Hide had stopped moving completely after they had just gotten started, but mostly because Hide was purposefully bringing attention to a part of himself he was still so uncomfortable with.

Hide's hand continued down to cup Kaneki's face. "Why wouldn't I smile when I'm looking at the cutest person in the world?"

Kaneki turned his head to the side and out of the others grasp. "It's not cute." He knew what Hide was doing, he just wished he wouldn't be doing it right now of all times.

"You are too cute." He leaned down, closing his eyes and softly bumping his forehead together with Kaneki's. "You are the cutest person I know, flaws and all,  and nothing you say will ever change that."

He was glad Hide couldn't see his face right now, for he was surely wearing an embarrassing face. There was no point in arguing back with Hide... Plus he liked hearing the other say that; to know that he was loved by somebody despite everything that was wrong with him.

Kaneki could feel tears prick at the corners of his eyes. "Hide, I love you."

"I love you too." He said, pulling away to look the half ghoul in the eyes; to show his sincerity. He brought his hands back up to wipe away the other's tears that had begun to fall.

How embarrassing, to be crying during sex, but Hide always made him feel so safe, and warm, and wanted. He circled his arms around Hide's back and pulled him down so that their lips met once more. Hide took the cue to start moving again, swallowing down all of Kaneki's small gasps and whimpers with the kiss.

Kaneki's grip around the other tightened, pulling him as close as possible. He let Hide's tongue dominate his mouth as the blond thrust into him, hitting that perfect spot every time.

One of Hide's hands traveled down, loosely grabbing hold of Kaneki's cock and pumping it in time with his thrusts.

Kaneki had to break away from the kiss, everything just felt so good and perfect, and perhaps it was because they had just woken up, but everything felt so much more intense than usual. He could feel familiar heat beginning to coil within him. "Hide, I do– ah~!" He couldn't help but moan at a particularly hard thrust. "I don't know how much longer I can..."

Hide have a small laugh "Yeah, me too." His pace becoming faster and slightly more erratic. He leaned down, giving the other one last kiss, his hand stroking up Kaneki, lightly squeezing his tip.

That was all it took to push Kaneki over the edge, spilling himself all over Hide's hand and his own stomach. Any sound he would have made was silenced by the other's lips. He shuddered, clawing at Hide's back and pulling him closer with his legs as he let the warmth of release wash over him.

Hide could feel Kaneki tighten around him, pushing him closer, and it wasn't long before he too came; Kaneki's body eagerly being filled up. He continued to lightly thrust his hips, riding out the last of his orgasm.

Once Kaneki's legs finally let go of him he pulled out, plopping back down on the bed beside the white haired man. He looked over to Kaneki, smiling when he saw beautiful silvery-grey looking back at him. "That was the best wakeup call I've had yet." He said.

Kaneki rolled his eyes. "I don't get how you're not tired again after all that." How Hide had so much energy so early in the morning he would never know.

"Well there's no point in going back to bed now." He wrapped his arms around Kaneki pulling him close. "In fact, we really should go take a shower."

Kaneki buried his head against the blond's chest. "Just five more minutes..." He said.

Hide laughed. "C'mon sleepy boy." He sat up, dragging the half asleep Kaneki with him. "I'll make you some coffee after we get out of shower, ok?"

Kaneki nodded "That sounds nice."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at them, so happy and together. Too bad we all know whats happening now.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All that's left after this is Hide and Kaneki's afterwards. I might take a break before posting chapter 1 of part 3 so that I can write up some nsfw oneshots that didn't make it into here.

Something was definitely wrong, even he could tell now. He wasn't just misplacing things or simply being forgetful; he was actually forgetting. At first he thought Hide was just being paranoid about the food the CCG was giving him. After the last meal he kept asking if he was alright or if anything seemed off, and Kaneki just said that he was fine and he was worrying over nothing. But now another two weeks had come and gone, and another meal with it, and this time even he could tell there was something different.

It was mostly short term memory being effected, but it was just getting worse and worse. He could no longer remember where he placed items and would have to constant look around for them. Hide also had to take over the cooking because he could no longer remember what he did or didn't add already. Though, the worst thing to happen yet would probably be the day he woke up and was unable to find Hide.

The blond always left a note if he was out running errands, and even then he was never gone for more then a few hours. When Hide finally got home Kaneki had asked him where he had been only to have Hide look at him funny and day that he had been at school, like he always was on that day.

From there it only started getting worse. He could no longer keep track of the days, he was also finding it harder and harder to remember things that had happened recently.

Hide had noticed all of this too, he could tell from the way he had been acting lately. If he had to give a word for it, he would say that Hide was doting on him. He was constantly checking in on him, texting, asking if he needed anything. He knew Hide was just trying to make him feel better, but it really only helped to make him feel worse.

It wasn't long before he found himself unable to remember things from years before. Small events, nothing really that important, but it still frightened him that whatever the CCG had given him was having such an effect like this.

And now here he was, sitting in front of yet another meal, it arrived earlier today but he had put off eating it until now. He didn't remember two weeks having passed, but they must have. He was scared. He didn't want to eat this anymore. He didn't want something even worse to happen, something that may cost him Hide. He wanted nothing more than to just push this stuff they called food away, but like every meal before he knew he couldn't do that. They portioned these and timed them out enough so that he would be hungry by the time the next meal arrived. If he didn't eat this and whatever they mixed in her along with the meat he would run the risk of losing control to his appetite; to hurting Hide.

As he forced himself to eat all he could think about was how they were evil and cruel to force something like this upon him. He accepted that he was their prisoner, that they would tamper with him how they pleased, but he never imagined that they would do something like this.

After he had finished forcing down whatever was in that, and as soon as started working on the dishes a head of blond hair peeked into the kitchen. "Everything ok in here?" 

"Yeah Hide." Kaneki replied. Everything's fine... I'm... I'm just a bit tired, I think I might head to bed after this."

"Ah, I might join you then. It's been a long day for me too." 

He knew that was probably a lie; that Hide was just worried about him, but he didn't say anything. Instead he just let Hide follow him around as he finished everything up for the night.

Once they were both in bed and settled down, Hide wrapped his arms around Kaneki and pulled him close. He felt the other flinch slightly in his grasp, so he reached up, gently stroking the soft white locks. "Everything's going to be ok. We'll figure something out."

Kaneki couldn't stop himself from shedding tears after that. Hide was always here for him, to comfort him and tell him that things were going to be fine. He didn't want to lose that.

It hurt to hear Kaneki crying like that, sounding so hopeless after they had come so far. He desperately wanted to do something, anything, to help and make things right again. 

Hide tensed slightly when he suddenly felt something other than arms wrap around him and pull him closer.

"Is it alright if I hold you like this?" Kaneki asked quietly. "I just don't want to wake up tomorrow to have lost you."

Hide felt his chest restrict and tears of his own threaten to fall. This was the first time Kaneki had made any indication as to knowing what was happening. "Yeah" he said, feeling the kagune hug him a bit tighter. "And don't you worry. I'll be right here when you wake up."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also the afterwards are really short and already written, so I'm probably just going to post one a day.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Afterwards ft. Hide

Hide woke up the next morning to an empty bed. A sense of dread washed over him. He quickly got up, looking around the room. "Kaneki?" He was nowhere in sight. A bolt of fear rushed through him.

 _Calm down Hide._ He told himself. _Everything's fine, he's just in the bathroom or something. Yeah._

He headed to the bathroom to find that it too was unoccupied. "Kaneki?" He called again a bit louder.

Quickly he went to the room that he used to sleep in before they began sharing the same bed.

Empty.

"Kaneki?!" Panic washed over him as he practically ran out to the main area of the small apartment. He saw the figure of someone sitting on the couch and almost broke out smiling in relief...but it wasn't Kaneki sitting there.

"Where is he?!" He asked the figure, unable to control his anger. "What did you do to Kaneki?!" They had been messing with him, slowly tearing apart his already frail mentality for over a month. Hide couldn't stand it, only being able to helplessly watch from the sidelines as it all happened in front of him. And now Kaneki was gone, nowhere to be seen.

Hide was always a master of his emotions, but he couldn't stand it anymore.

"I said, where is he!" He yelled once more at the figure before him.

They wouldn't even look at him, they gaze averted to the floor by their feet. "I'm afraid I have to inform you," Masanori quietly spoke. "that Kaneki Ken is no longer with us."

No. He couldn't lose him. "What do you mean?" Hide asked, his voice small and broken. He couldn't lose Kaneki again, he had just gotten him back.

"The half ghoul Centipede, Kaneki Ken, no longer exists." The man said, his gaze still averted from Hide. 

No.

"My deepest condolences."

No.

He could no longer hold back his tears. It had hurt when Kaneki had up and left him, disappeared without a trace for half a year, but this felt a hundred times worse. It was like his heart had been torn out, crushed; broken into a million little pieces with no hope of putting them back together.

"Whenever you are done here," Masanori continued on what must have been lines given to him from higher up. "There is somebody who would like to speak to you. I will drive you to headquarters." He stood up and walked towards the door, leaving Hide all alone in the small apartment.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, the last chapter. Chapter 21. Twenty one... Now why does that number sound familiar? I wonder...

The last thing he clearly remembers is panic, pain, and then a sense of nothingness that was currently washing over him. Vague and hazy memories, hardly understandable passed through his mind as he lay there, slowly drifting off into the cold void that consumed him.

Words, perhaps those of other's once spoken to him or perhaps even his own passed through his mind.

_The world is wrong_

Why was it wrong again?

_It's wrong because people like you have to eat_

I have to eat.

_But to eat is to steal_

I have to eat

_To eat is to protect_

I have to eat

_To eat is to lose_

I have to eat

_To eat is to make a mistake_

...

If that is all true, then perhaps my salvation is just to sleep and have a happy dream.

My salvation is...

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I have the basic plot mapped out, but if anybody has something you want to see just let me know down in the comments, it may just end up in the story.


End file.
